Girl Meets Werewolf
by Aly Delacour
Summary: Remus is committed to his work for the Order, but something is distracting him and he's not used to his heart ruling his head. Tonks is young, naive and desperate to prove that she is an asset to the Order, when she falls for the last person she expected.
1. A New War

In a small, dreary kitchen, in a small, dreary flat in London, a wizard sat at a rickety table, poring over a large book. Sighing absently, he was oblivious to the curtain that was flapping violently in the draught from the open window. He turned the pages quickly, often murmuring out loud, repeating choice phrases as if trying to memorise them. Every now and then he rubbed a hand over his tired face, knowing he needed sleep, but too engrossed in the book to drag himself from the table. The wizard's brown hair was flecked with grey, his face etched with lines as though he wore a constant frown, and his eyes reflected wisdom that should have belonged to an old man. But Remus Lupin was only thirty-six.

His eyes not leaving the book, the wizard groped for the mug in front of him. After taking a sip, he spluttered and made a face.

'Cold,' he muttered, irritably. Without raising an eye from the book, he lifted his wand from the table, and aimed a jet of hot air at the mug of tea.

'Much better,' he murmured contentedly, swallowing a sip of the warm liquid.

A sudden, loud crack from behind him startled Remus. He jumped out of his chair, reaching for his wand again, then stopped as his stomach somersaulted with relief.

'Sirius!' he exclaimed, breaking into a broad smile, astonished to see his old friend standing before him. Sirius Black had been on the run since he escaped from Azkaban two years ago, and it was the first time he had turned up at Remus's flat – it was really not safe with the entire Ministry of Magic on the lookout for him. Sirius had been dwelling in caves and forests dotted around the country, relocating regularly, hidden in his animagus form as a big black dog.

'It's great to see you, but what on earth are you –' Remus trailed off as he noticed the grim expression on Sirius's thin face.

'What's happened?' asked Remus. Awful thoughts began circling in his mind, his primary fear being for young Harry Potter's wellbeing – if Sirius was going to risk revealing his whereabouts to the Ministry of Magic, the safety of his godson would be the most likely reason.

'Voldemort,' Sirius said raggedly, pushing his long dark hair off his face. Remus noticed for the first time that Sirius was tense and breathless. 'He's back.'

'Back?' Remus repeated stupidly. A horrid chill that had nothing to do with the breeze from the open window began to seep into him, but he was finding it difficult to take in what Sirius was saying. 'What do you mean?'

'He's been brought back to life … by Wormtail … a Hogwarts student's been killed. Dumbledore's sent me to get the Order together.'

Remus's heart jumped into his throat.

'Which student?' he asked, aghast.

'Cedric Diggory – did you know him?' said Sirius, pain contorting his face as he sank into a chair opposite the table from Remus.

Remus did not even have to think about it; he remembered Cedric Diggory immediately. Remus had taught Cedric in the run up to his Defence Against the Dark Arts O.W.L. the previous year, and Cedric had easily been the best of all the fifth year students; better than most of the sixth and seven years, in fact. Remus had been immensely proud when Cedric had been awarded an 'Outstanding' grade in his O.W.L. exam.

'Cedric … yes, I taught him last year … he was a brilliant student … '

Remus was so horrified he could barely think … to hear that the boy was dead, and by the command of Lord Voldemort, no less … his head swam with the awful image.

'What on earth happened, Sirius?' he asked, hoarsely.

He listened, in shock, as Sirius explained: how the Triwizard Cup had been a portkey, how Cedric Diggory and Harry Potter had been transported to a graveyard, where Peter Pettigrew had murdered Cedric before using Harry's blood to raise Lord Voldemort; how Voldemort had summoned his Death Eaters, had tried to kill Harry, and how Harry had somehow, miraculously managed to get away.

'Is Harry all right?' Remus interrupted frantically.

'Physically, yes, just very shaken. God only knows how he managed to escape.' Sirius shook his head slowly. His hands, which were gripping the table, trembled violently. The curtain continued to bang against the window sill, but Remus was barely aware of anything around him.

The two friends sat in silence for a long moment. Remus tried to take in everything he had just heard. It was like a horrific nightmare. There had been signs over the past few years that Voldemort was trying to come back, but for it to happen so suddenly, with no warning …

'Oh, for goodness' sake,' Sirius muttered suddenly, striding to the window and pulling it shut with a loud thump, and the curtain hung meekly against the dark sky outside.

'I … I don't believe this has happened,' Remus said weakly as Sirius flopped back into his seat.

'We never should have let Peter go last year,' said Sirius, his tone bitter. 'This is our fault. We should have killed him in the Shrieking Shack when we had the chance.'

Although part of Remus agreed, he felt obligated to contradict Sirius.

'It wouldn't have made a difference, Sirius. Voldemort would have found somebody else to do his dirty work for him.'

Sirius grunted, unconvinced. Remus breathed deeply, letting his thoughts settle. There were things that needed to be done; he knew that sitting around digesting the news was a luxury they could not afford. He met Sirius's eyes and knew the thought was shared.

'I need to get on and alert the rest of the Order,' Sirius sighed, standing up.

'No,' said Remus. 'Let me go – you've put yourself at enough risk of being seen tonight, you should stay here for now. I'll get everyone together.'

Remus expected him to argue, but Sirius nodded lethargically and slumped back into his seat, looking pale and exhausted.

Half an hour later and Remus's tiny flat seemed crowded with a number of stunned-looking witches and wizards. Nobody was speaking very much; they had all been told the story and were now waiting, subdued, for Albus Dumbledore to get there and start the meeting. Molly Weasley had just arrived and had immediately begun making cups of tea for everyone, while her husband Arthur was talking quietly to Sirius, looking slightly perplexed at finding out that Sirius Black, the most wanted wizard in the country, was actually innocent.

Remus sat back in his chair, feeling slightly dazed. The past hour had been extremely trying: first of all hearing about the night's events from Sirius, then having to repeat is several times as he alerted various members of the Order of the Phoenix. This was a moment he had dreaded, even had nightmares about. Even before he had known for certain that Voldemort was still alive and could be reborn, he had occasionally felt a slight unease, convinced it could happen again.

With a loud pop, Dumbledore apparated into the room right next to where Remus sat. An wave of murmuring coursed through the room. Dumbledore turned to Remus.

'I apologise for my lack of manners, Remus, as you know I would never normally apparate directly into someone's home without ringing the doorbell, but I am afraid tonight we do not have time for pleasantries,' said Dumbledore seriously.

'Of course, of course,' Remus replied, waving away Dumbledore's apology. He conjured another seat for Dumbledore, which he took gratefully, accepting a mug of tea from Molly.

Dumbledore addressed the roomful of people, and everyone immediately became silent, their attention fully focused on Dumbledore.

'Friends, thank you for responding so quickly. I am quite sure the details of tonight's events have been relayed to you, so I will not waste any time by going over them again. You all know why you are here. Lord Voldemort has tonight been brought back to life; already he has murdered, and yet Cornelius Fudge, the Minister for Magic, is refusing to acknowledge Voldemort's existence. Therefore it is up to us, the Order of the Phoenix, to do everything in our power to protect the Wizarding community. On my orders, Severus Snape has already gone to take his place as a spy amongst Voldemort's Death Eaters – '

Sirius scowled at the mention of Snape's name, but said nothing.

' – and I ask the rest of you to resume the duties you took on the last time the Order was active. One of our priorities right now is to alert people to Voldemort's return. It is plain that the Ministry is going to make this very difficult for us, so we will need to be careful. But even before we consider that, we must find somewhere to use as Headquarters.'

After a moment's silence, for the first time Sirius spoke up.

'We can use my parents' old house. Apparently it belongs to me now,' he said, with a slight roll of his eyes. 'And my dear parents cast every enchantment they knew to protect the place, so it should be one of the safest houses in the country.'

Remus was mildly taken aback – he knew how little Sirius thought of his family, and therefore how much he would like to remain disassociated from the entire Black legacy, particularly the house. Sirius had never once considered returning to it after escaping Azkaban, even though it would have been a relatively safe place for him to hide.

A smile spread across Dumbledore's face.

'Excellent, excellent. Thank you, Sirius, that could be exactly what we are looking for,' said Dumbledore, his eyes shining with zeal. 'It may take some time, but once I add a few of my own protective spells it should be ideal. We'll look into that as soon as possible.'

Dumbledore then began issuing instructions to various people with an air of efficiency and control. Remus exchanged a grim look with Sirius. He could scarcely believe that just an hour ago he had been sitting quietly in his flat with a book and a cup of tea; now they had all been flung into the beginning of a nightmare.

' …and Arthur, I am relying on you to try to convince as many people as possible in the Ministry that Voldemort is a threat,' Dumbledore was saying. 'Discreetly, of course – the last thing we need is for you to lose your job because Fudge finds out you are working against him.'

'Of course, of course.' Arthur nodded, a tight, forced smile on his face. Molly was next to him, looking white-faced but resolute.

'Now – our biggest priority by a long way: Harry Potter. It was clear tonight that Harry was a key part in Voldemort's revival, and based both on tonight's events and other evidence I possess, I do not believe Voldemort will rest until the boy is dead.'

As Dumbledore said this, it sounded as though a very heavy weight was pressing on his shoulders. He took a deep breath.

'While Harry is at Hogwarts I believe he is safe. But the moment he returns to his Aunt's home, I would like members of the Order to be watching him around the clock.'

Several voices answered at once: Remus, Molly, Arthur and various other members spoke up, all eager to help protect Harry Potter.

Dumbledore nodded. 'Thank you, I was certain I could rely on you all.'

'I'll do anything you need me to do to help the boy, Dumbledore,' Mundungus Fletcher piped up, swaying ever so slightly as he focused on Dumbledore.

Dumbledore eyed the grubby, ginger-haired man for several seconds before saying, 'Of course. Thank you, Mundungus.'

'Dumbledore, I could do some shifts as well, in my animagus form, obviously, and maybe just at night when no one will notice me,' said Sirius, speaking extremely fast.

'No. I'm afraid not, Sirius. It is too risky, you might be caught, and we need you in the Order.'

'But –'

'I have given you my answer Sirius, and that is my final word.'

Dumbledore did not speak harshly, but peered over his spectacles at Sirius with almost a sympathetic look in his eyes. Sirius backed down – Dumbledore was the one wizard he respected too much to argue with – but he took on a slightly sulky air.

'Arabella, naturally your position is extremely convenient for keeping an extra eye on Harry. I know I can rely on you.' Dumbledore addressed Harry's elderly squib neighbour, who had insisted on attending the meeting and requested that Remus bring her along using side-along apparition.

Arabella Figg drew herself up to her full height and nodded staunchly, looking grateful for the chance to help in any way, even though she could not perform magic.

'And now I must return to Hogwarts and see to my students,' Dumbledore said gravely. The strain showed on his face as he stood up to leave. It had been a long time since Remus had seen Dumbledore look as troubled as he did tonight.

'Thank you for letting us invade your home, Remus. Good night, everyone, and be on your guard.' And with that, Dumbledore turned on the spot and was gone. He had been there barely fifteen minutes, but his mere presence had had a profound effect on the assembled group.

The remaining wizards and witches were quiet for several contemplative moments. Slowly, they began to rise from their seats and chatter, filtering out of the front door or apparating into thin air, until Remus and Sirius were the only remaining bodies in the flat. Once again, the pair sat at the small table and stared into their hands, considering the enormity of what they faced.

'We're here. Again,' said Sirius pensively, in what was possibly the most concise summation of what Remus was feeling. The whole evening had reeked of the first ever Order meeting Remus, Sirius, James and Peter attended all those years ago. They had been young and arrogant, eager to fight, to stand up for what was right, to be heroes. What had followed was so far from victory and heroism. Friends and family had died horribly. Lives were shattered. It had taken years for Remus to rebuild his life after Voldemort disappeared. Now he felt like he was starting from the beginning, and all he could see ahead was darkness.


	2. A New Recuit

_Monday 5th July_

For the Attention of All Ministry of Magic Employees

_RE: Albus Dumbledore_

_It has recently been brought to my attention that a number of valued employees have been approached by the wizard Albus Dumbledore in an attempt to recruit them to a dubious society, the purpose of which (Dumbledore claims) is to fight dark wizards and witches. However, the true nature of this group has been exposed as an endeavour to disrepute the Ministry of Magic and to facilitate an attempt by Dumbledore to promote himself as a future Minister for Magic._

_Dumbledore is also perpetrating serious lies surrounding the death of a Hogwarts student on 24th June. The death has been ruled an accident and any rumours broadcast by Dumbledore regarding this issue are to be disregarded._

_Dumbledore has been deemed a severe threat to the Ministry. His actions have been interpreted as an aggressive attempt to overthrow the current Minister for Magic using a combination of menace and manipulation. Such an attempt will not be tolerated, and has led to the implementation of strict observations on all communications throughout the Ministry of Magic._

_Furthermore, any Ministry Employee found to be in regular contact with Dumbledore without due cause may be subject to an investigation and possible disciplinary proceedings._

_Cornelius Fudge_

_Minister for Magic_

'What a load of bollocks.'

Nymphadora Tonks tossed the piece of parchment carelessly onto her desk, her heart-shaped face screwed up in contempt. Her pale complexion flushed with annoyance so that her cheeks turned the same shade of pink as her hair.

'How can anyone seriously believe Dumbledore's cracking up? Everyone knows he's the smartest wizard around these days. And this sounds really dodgy: some kid at Hogwarts dies and everyone just ignores it? What's Fudge playing at?'

Nearby, the secretary for the Auror Headquarters – a nervous-looking witch named Rose – was dictating a document to her Smart-Write Quill, the latest in Ministry of Magic stationery, and clearly a cheap copy of the Quick-Notes Quills the Daily Prophet newspaper had been using for years. About thirty years old, Rose had a second quill tucked behind one ear and a pair of extremely thick glasses perched low down on her nose. She looked up at Tonks in alarm, and the Smart-Write Quill carried on scribbling across the parchment of its own accord until it left a streak of brilliant blue ink across the desk. Though it was not unusual to hear Nymphadora Tonks speaking her mind, on this occasion Rose looked rather anxious.

'Watch what you're saying, Tonks,' said Rose, warningly. 'Fudge isn't going to look lightly upon anyone taking Dumbledore's side.'

'Don't be daft,' Tonks scoffed, narrowing her grey eyes. 'Who's going to bother reporting every little word we say to Fudge?'

But Tonks suddenly became aware that Kingsley Shacklebolt was staring at her curiously from his desk, two cubicles away. Feeling her face heat up slightly, Tonks sat down quickly so that the partitions blocked her from his view, wondering if she should have kept her opinions to herself after all. Rose had noticed Kingsley's look too, and made a face at Tonks that plainly said 'What did I tell you?'

Tonks was too busy to give Kingsley's odd look a second thought for the next couple of days. In fact, she was out of the Ministry for most of the following day, chasing what turned out to be a false lead on a suspected dark wizard whom the Ministry had been pursuing for several months.

But during the brief moments she was there, Tonks became vaguely aware of Kingsley watching her when he thought she was not looking, and even caught him a couple of times holding a furtive conversation with another Ministry wizard whose name she did not know, the two of them shooting her suspicious glances.

'Who's that? The bloke with the red hair talking to Kingsley?' Tonks asked Rose inconspicuously one morning.

'Arthur Weasley. Improper Use of Magic Office,' Rose replied, barely looking up from the documents she was sending with her wand to the Ministry's latest administrative contraption, the Quick-Retrieving Filing Cabinet. 'Why do you ask?'

Tonks shrugged and shook her head in reply, but for the rest of the day a sense of discomfort grew in her gut. She knew she had not done anything wrong, but maybe she had been naïve to think no one would be bothered by her shooting her mouth off about Fudge and Dumbledore.

Near the end of the day, when the office was empty apart from herself and Kingsley, the same red-haired wizard appeared once more at Kingsley's cubicle, and once again, Tonks could feel their eyes on her as they spoke indistinctly. Eventually the suspense grew too great to ignore and she marched over to Kingsley's cubicle.

'All right, Shacklebolt, out with it.' Tonks was never one to beat about the bush. 'You and Mr Weasley here have been giving me funny looks and whispering about me for three days running. What's going on?'

Kingsley and the red-haired wizard exchanged a quick look, and Tonks raised her eyebrows expectantly.

'Miss Tonks, is it? I'm Arthur Weasley,' said the red-haired wizard brightly, holding out his hand for her to shake. 'I understand you were not terribly impressed with Fudge's memo about Dumbledore.'

_Damn_, thought Tonks as she shook his hand. It _was_ about that after all. She thought quickly. How much trouble could she possibly be in? And how could she explain herself out of it?

'Mr Weasley, look – ' she began.

'Call me Arthur,' he said pleasantly. 'And don't worry, you're not in trouble.'

A look of confusion must have crossed Tonks's face, because Arthur Weasley exchanged another look with Kingsley and their expressions became more serious. Glancing around and looking slightly paranoid, Arthur discreetly aimed his wand at the door at the far end of the office. A familiar hissing sound told Tonks he had just cast an Imperturbable Charm on the door. He did the same to the other entrance next to them. Tonks's heart was beating rather fast and she was beginning to feel nervous.

'You are not the only one who is dubious about Cornelius Fudge's denunciation of Dumbledore' Kingsley revealed dramatically.

'Oh?' said Tonks. She could not decide whether this was a trap, or she was about to find out something interesting.

'The rumour that the Minister for Magic is so keen to quash is that the student who was killed at Hogwarts … was murdered at the hands of Lord Voldemort,' said Arthur in a low voice.

Tonks stared at him.

'This is a joke, right?' she said flatly to Arthur.

She turned to Kingsley. 'Right?'

'Unfortunately not,' said Kingsley. 'Another student witnessed first-hand Voldemort being restored to his body, and in addition to other evidence, Dumbledore has every faith that this student is telling the truth,'

'And we have every faith in Dumbledore,' added Arthur.

Tonks was silent for several long moments, trying to take in this piece of information.

'So … all that time … Voldemort was not really dead?' she asked slowly, trying to wrap her head around the concept.

'It appears that way, yes,' Arthur replied.

Tonks was silent again. So many questions were floating to the surface of her mind, so many that she did not know quite what to ask first.

'I'm sure you have quite a few questions,' said Arthur, perceptively, 'But first of all, we have one for you.'

Tonks looked at him warily. This conversation was becoming more and more bizarre.

'Having heard the bare facts, are you willing to consider the fact that Dumbledore is telling the truth: that Lord Voldemort has risen again and is once more a threat to the Wizarding community?' Arthur asked her, his tone grave and his expression solemn.

Tonks considered his words carefully. It was almost impossible to imagine that Lord Voldemort was actually out there somewhere right now, alive and dangerous; it sounded like a sick joke. But Tonks had worked with Kingsley Shacklebolt for a year, and she trusted him. And if Albus Dumbledore was behind this theory – Tonks had always had the utmost respect for Dumbledore, far more than she had for that blithering excuse for a Minister, Fudge.

Even though part of her was telling her this whole story was madness, she knew there was only one clear answer.

'Well, if you're saying this came from Dumbledore himself … then I'd believe it one hundred percent,' she replied slowly.

Arthur beamed so that his face matched his red hair. 'Excellent!'

Feeling as though she had just been inducted into a secret club, Tonks was anxious to hear what they had to say next.

'So, what now?' she asked, impatiently. 'If Dumbledore thinks Voldemort's really back, then what's he doing about it?'

'That's a good question, Miss Tonks, and that's where we're hoping you can help us.' Arthur replied.

Tonks was intrigued, if a little scared.

'Both Kingsley here and I are members of a group of wizards and witches called the Order of the Phoenix. The Order was active against Voldemort before he disappeared thirteen years ago, and has very recently reformed. We're currently trying to recruit as many people as possible who believe Voldemort is back in spite of the Ministry's denial and are willing to help find and defeat him.'

Tonks listened, drinking in his words.

'And you want me to join?' she deduced.

'Exactly,' he replied.

'Who else is in this – this "Order"?' Tonks asked curiously.

'Albus Dumbledore, along with a few other Hogwarts teachers who you may remember from your school days – Professors McGonagall and Snape to name a couple; my wife and two of my sons; Alastor Moody, who I am sure you have heard of … '

Tonks nodded, impressed. She certainly had heard plenty of stories about the legendary Mad-Eye Moody's days as an Auror.

'… oh, and a cousin of yours – Sirius,' Arthur added.

'Sirius _Black_?' Tonks yelped, shocked. 'But he – he – '

'Murdered thirteen muggles? No, he didn't, actually. He is innocent,' disclosed Kingsley, matter-of-factly. 'Framed by the real killer and sent to Azkaban without a trial. The truth was only discovered a couple of years ago, but with no proof to back it up, he is still wanted by the Ministry.'

'I can't believe no one told me,' Tonks mused, shaking her head in disbelief. 'I mean, we're family.'

Even though she had never met Sirius herself, Tonks knew her mother had been close to him when she was younger and that she had been deeply shocked when Sirius, who has always gone against the traditional Black values, appeared to go down the same road so many other Blacks had by becoming a Death Eater. The news that he had been innocent all along made sense from what Tonks's mother had told her about Sirius, and Tonks suddenly felt a surge of sympathy for this cousin she had never known.

'Hardly anyone knows of Sirius's innocence,' Arthur informed her. 'And those of us who do know have had to keep it fairly quiet. I actually only found out myself a few days ago.'

Reeling, Tonks ran a hand through her spiky pink hair.

'Anyway, it is not very safe for us to be discussing any of this in the open.' Arthur cast his eyes around warily as though he expected the partitions between the cubicles to transfigure into Ministry officials at any moment. He thrust a small piece of parchment at Tonks.

'Read this and memorise it,' he instructed her. Tonks stared at the writing, memorising the address it showed, before Arthur snatched it back as though it was a rare and precious jewel, and burned it with his wand until it crumbled into ashes and disappeared .

'Tonight, eight o'clock. Oh, and don't ring the doorbell if you can help it.'

And with that, he turned and walked out of the office. Before Tonks could open her mouth to ask Kingsley anything, he too turned and left through the opposite door, leaving Tonks gaping after them, trying to process everything she had just heard.


	3. A Meeting

It was a Monday evening, ten days since the first meeting of the Order of the Phoenix in Remus Lupin's flat, and twenty-four hours since Remus, Sirius and Molly Weasley had descended upon the Black family's house in London. They were attempting to make the house vaguely habitable, and it had taken poor Molly the entire day just to get the kitchen into a clean enough state to use it, while Remus and Sirius sorted out enough of the bedrooms to give them all somewhere to sleep. Molly and Arthur had decided to stay in the house once it was ready, along with their four youngest children, so that they could devote as much time as possible to their work for the Order.

Dumbledore had joined them when they first arrived at the house and had spent a long time examining the house for protection spells already in place and adding many of his own to make the place completely safe and unplottable. As soon as he was satisfied, he rushed off again to continue the work he was doing for the Order: neither Remus nor the others knew what it was.

Sirius had worn a strange expression since the moment he walked in the door. He did not say very much, but it was plain he was not happy about being back in the house that he had planned never to return to. Remus was well enough acquainted with Sirius's moods to know not to press the matter, but Molly insisted on trying to get him talking, asking question after question about the house and his family. Sirius's curt answers became shorter and shorter until Molly finally took the hint and, giving him a rather severe look, ceased her interrogation.

Yesterday, their first day in the house, Remus was knee-deep in dust cleaning out underneath a bed, when the doorbell rang for the first time since they arrived. Seconds after the chiming began, a blood-curdling scream ripped through the air. Remus jumped to his feet in shock, trying to locate the source of the noise. His first fear was that it was Molly, but as the screaming droned on and on Remus realised it was a completely unfamiliar voice. There were words forming in the screeches that he could not make out. He rushed into the hall and met Sirius, emerging from the opposite bedroom. His face was chalk-white.

'Who is that?' Remus cried. The noise intensified on the landing. Realising it was coming from the hall on the ground floor, Remus made for the stairs, but Sirius remained rooted to the spot as though in a trance.

'Sirius!' he shouted over the din. 'What are you waiting for?'

Sirius sprang out of his catatonic state and pushed past Remus, hurtling down the stairs with Remus close on his heels. At the bottom, the noise was unbearable but Remus still could not see the source; it had to be someone in the hall where they stood, but other than them it was empty. Molly appeared from the basement looking just as alarmed and confused, glancing around wildly for the source.

Sirius, however, strode right up to a filthy curtain hanging halfway along the hallway. For the first time Remus realised that the curtains were now open, and behind them hung the most hideous portrait he had ever seen. A very old woman was bawling her head off, her grey hair matted and tangled and her grey eyes wild and unfocused.

'Hello, Mother,' said Sirius derisively. 'It's been a long time.'

Remus and Molly's mouths fell open.

'Not long enough!' screeched the portrait. 'How dare you disgrace my house with your presence after you betrayed the name of Black, you filthy, ungrateful beast! Bringing a blood traitor and a freak, no less! You are no son of my mine! Get out! GET OUT!'

'Give me a hand here, Remus,' said Sirius evenly, and as Remus stared at the woman in repulsion, Sirius wrenched at the curtains. Remus sprang forward to help, and when they managed to force the curtains shut, the horrific screams stopped abruptly. Molly hastened towards the front door before the bell rang again and set off the screaming once more.

'Ah,' said Remus. 'So, that was … ?'

'My dear old mother.' Sirius continued to stare at the closed curtains, his chest heaving. He looked livid, and he was still rather pale.

Arthur Weasley stepped through the front door. 'Goodness! What was that racket?' he asked as he peered around the dimly lit entrance hall.

'Screaming portrait. Long story,' Sirius replied gruffly.

'Ah. So this is the infamous Black house, then, Sirius?' said Arthur eagerly, not quite sensing the tension in the hall. Sirius barely grunted in reply. Arthur's face fell slightly as he took in Remus and Molly's shocked faces and Sirius's furious expression, and he fell silent.

'Er … cup of tea, anyone?' Molly offered hesitantly, glancing at Sirius in concern.

By Monday evening they were growing accustomed to the awful din from Mrs Black. The doorbell rang regularly in the run up to the first meeting they would hold in the house, and with each new arrival it took two of them to answer the door and subdue the painting.

'We really must do something about that!' Molly exclaimed after the fifth time, wringing her hands in despair as Arthur and Bill headed upstairs. She stole a concerned glance at Sirius, who was looking more and more disheartened each time his mother's portrait recommenced her yelling, although he pretended not to hear it. After the first encounter yesterday, Sirius had not once faced the painting again.

'We can have a look at it in the morning,' Remus assured her.

'She won't go easily,' Sirius grunted, speaking for the first time in a long while. 'I'm fairly certain there's more than just nails keeping her up on the wall.'

It was slightly eerie how Sirius referred to the portrait of his dead mother as 'she' rather than 'it.'

Sirius replaced his mug on the table with more force than was strictly necessary. Molly gave him a rather stern look, then quickly smiled at him and patted his arm soothingly.

'I'm sure we'll find a way to remove the painting,' she told him kindly. Molly seemed to see for the first time how hard it was for Sirius to be in this house, and was being more compassionate towards him than she had all day.

At ten to eight the doorbell rang one more time. Remus looked around at his fellow Order members and tried to work out who they were still expecting, but it seemed from the dozen or so of them milling around the gloomy kitchen that everyone was already there.

Arthur turned eagerly to Kingsley Shacklebolt. 'Aha! That must be …'

Kingsley nodded, and the pair of them headed for the stairs. Remus realised excitedly that they must have managed to recruit a new member from the Ministry, something they had been trying to do for two weeks with little success. Remus wondered who they had found – one of the Order's most recent recruits was a slightly dodgy character named Mundungus Fletcher who, in Molly's words, 'looked as though you couldn't trust him as far as you could throw him.' Remus had no doubt that Arthur and Kingsley's new find was a rather more respectable character; hopefully someone quite high up in the Ministry who could go far in convincing others.

So Remus was startled when a bright pink head appeared in the doorway.

'This is Nymphadora Tonks, everyone,' Arthur announced as he hustled the young woman into the kitchen. The girl glanced around, smiling nervously but her expression was bright and eager. She looked very young, maybe in her early twenties. Her hair was short and spiky, and most importantly, a vivid pink. She had a pretty, heart-shaped face and twinkling eyes that vaguely reminded Remus of someone.

'Hello there, dear,' said Molly warmly, rushing forward to shake hands with the girl. 'I'm Molly, Arthur's wife. Lovely to meet you, Nymphadora.'

'It's great to meet you too. And, er, actually … well, nobody calls me Nymphadora except my mother,' she said, blushing a little so that her cheeks were almost as pink as her hair. 'It's just Tonks.'

Molly looked a little perturbed for a second, but she quickly smiled and said, 'Right! Well, Tonks it is, then.'

Arthur began introducing each Order member to Tonks. 'Now then, that's Severus Snape, he's a teacher at Hogwarts …'

Severus did not smile or offer his hand, but inclined his head with a slight sneer.

'… and this is Remus Lupin …'

Remus smiled and leaned across the table to shake Tonks's hand. She gave him a quick grin, then her eyes slid on to the rest of the witches and wizards congregated around the table as Arthur listed their names.

'… and that's Mundungus Fletcher over there, and Kingsley you know, of course, and this here is my eldest, Bill …'

Bill stood up to shake her hand.

'Oh, I remember you,' said Tonks, squinting at Bill. 'You were Head Boy at Hogwarts, weren't you, when I was in my fifth year?'

'Oh, really?' Molly interrupted with great interest. 'Do you remember Tonks, Bill?'

'Of course I do, she was hard to miss – walked into the Great Hall every morning with a different colour of hair,' Bill teased.

Tonks laughed.

'And I'm sure you are anxious to meet your cousin, Tonks. This is Sirius Black,' said Arthur, gesturing to where Sirius sat at the table, sipping wine and looking sullen. Remus was stunned. Tonks was a Black? As far as Remus knew, Sirius was the only member of that family who was not at least halfway to becoming a Death Eater; and yet here stood this girl, about to sign up to the very association which stood against everything the Black family believed in. Plus with her bright pink hair and unusual robes, she looked nothing like a member of the noble, traditional family of Black.

Looking a little reluctant, Sirius rose from his seat and shook hands awkwardly with Tonks.

'I've heard a lot about you from my Mum,' Tonks told him enthusiastically.

'How is Andromeda?' Sirius asked stiffly.

The cousins conversed uneasily, Tonks sounding shy but nevertheless quite animated, while Sirius strained to sound friendly. Remus learned that Sirius's cousin Andromeda had been disowned just like Sirius after she married a muggle-born, which explained Tonks's very non-Black-like beliefs.

'Well, we still have a few minutes till the meeting starts, would you like a cup of tea, Tonks?' Molly asked warmly, and Tonks nodded gratefully, settling herself into a seat Bill conjured for her.

'So what is it you do at the Ministry, Tonks?' asked Bill.

'Oh, I'm an Auror,' she replied brightly.

'Really?' said Bill, pushing his long hair back. 'That's pretty cool.'

Molly positively beamed.

Dumbledore was unable to attend, so Arthur led the meeting. Firstly Kingsley Shacklebolt reported on his shift guarding a door in the Department of Mysteries the previous night. No one in the Order except Dumbledore knew what the object was, which was extremely frustrating, but there was little point in even speculating what it was – none of them had a clue.

'Once again, there was no sign of Voldemort or any of his Death Eaters in the Ministry. I was almost caught by an Unspeakable, but I detected his approach and managed to conceal myself in time,' Kingsley told them.

After a brief account from everyone on the work they were doing, Arthur turned his attention to Tonks and explained some of the work the Order of the Phoenix were doing.

'We have two main priorities at the moment: to watch over Harry Potter, and to guard this object in the Department of Mysteries, as you have just been hearing from Kingsley,' Arthur explained. 'Obviously it is easiest for those of us who work at the Ministry to do that part – we are less likely to be questioned for being there.'

Tonks nodded enthusiastically. 'Whatever you need me to do, I'm there,' she said sincerely.

'There are significant risks involved,' Remus found himself interrupting. 'We have no idea how or when Voldemort will try to reach this object, and we can assume it is dangerous if Voldemort is after it, so even just being in the vicinity of it may be deadly.'

'I realise that,' Tonks said calmly, her grey eyes boring into Remus. 'No offence, but I am an Auror. I trained for three years, I have experience with this sort of stuff.'

Remus couldn't help feeling slightly dubious – this girl seemed so young, and at first glance she gave off an air of being a little bit silly and inept. But on the other hand she appeared to be a very capable witch, and on top of that, extremely willing to help. He knew he was letting Tonks's young, unconventional appearance cloud his judgment, but all the same, Remus felt that she was not fully aware of what she was getting herself into.

'Yes, well, this is not exactly that same. No amount of Auror training can prepare you for what Lord Voldemort is capable of.'

'I don't expect it to, but you can't say I am any less capable than the rest of you.' She looked at Remus expectantly, almost as though challenging him to argue.

'You're very young –'

''I'm twenty-three years old. How old were you when you first joined the Order?'

Remus sighed. 'Eighteen.'

'So I don't think age is really a problem here, do you?'

'You're too young to remember what Voldemort's reign was like the first time round –'

'I do remember.' Tonks's eyes flashed, and for a second she looked uncannily like Sirius did when he was pissed off, before she relaxed again. 'I was young, but I remember. And I know this time I can help.'

As he opened his mouth to argue again Remus was suddenly aware the everyone in the room was listening to them in stunned silence. Sirius's eyebrows had almost disappeared under his long hair and Arthur's mouth was hanging open in bewilderment.

'Well, I'm sure you'll be an asset to the Order,' Remus backed down finally, guilt and embarrassment inching in at the edges of his mind. What was he thinking, questioning her competence like that?

'Right! I'll just call the children down for dinner!' Molly announced pointedly, giving Remus a slightly stern look as she headed out of the kitchen.

Several people got up to leave now that the meeting was over, leaving only a scattered few around the kitchen table. As the others chatted, Remus glanced at Tonks, hoping she had not taken what he said personally. He smiled at her in what he hoped was an apologetic way.

'You're welcome to stay for dinner, if you'd like,' he told her.

'Thanks very much,' Tonks replied. 'So, Remus ... what do you do?' Her tone was light, her expression back to her original open, friendly one.

'I'm just working for the Order at the moment,' he replied. 'It's sometimes a little hard for me to find work …'

She nodded slowly with a slight frown, looking expectantly at him, waiting for a reason. _Damn_. He hated admitting what he was to people. Everyone else in the Order knew, and there was no real reason to hide it from Tonks, but it was still horrible saying the words out loud. He could only hope she was as understanding as the rest of them.

'I'm a werewolf.' Remus felt himself cringe slightly, unable to look directly at her as he waited for her response. Her eyes widened in shock for a split second and she opened her mouth to speak, then faltered slightly. She hesitated, her expression turning neutral again, then took a deep breath.

'That must be difficult. There are so many people prejudiced against werewolves.'

Remus nodded.

'Oh don't worry, I'm not one of those people,' she added quickly.

'That's certainly good to know,' Remus said, amused by her earnest tone. He suddenly saw how keen she was to be accepted by himself and the others, and he liked it about her.

Molly and her four youngest children entered the kitchen. The three boys settled themselves around the rough wooden table while Ginny, the youngest, and Molly headed to the stove to make a start on dinner. Tonks, Remus and Bill all jumped up to help. Soon the smell of Molly's chicken casserole wafted through the air, covering up the damp, musty smell that had permeated the basement kitchen after years of disuse. As Remus stirred a large pot, he let his mind wander, occasionally listening to the idle chatter around him. Beside him, Bill and Tonks chattered quietly as they fussed over the vegetables, cleaning them with a spell from their wands and bewitching knives to dice them. Bill laughed when Tonks knocked a chopping board of mushrooms onto the floor.

'Oops,' she muttered, turning slightly red, but still grinning.

Bill swept the mess back up to the worktop with a casual sweep of his wand and the pair chuckled together.

'Mum? Now that we're here in London, is it all right if Hermione comes to stay, like you said?' Ron Weasley asked eagerly. Molly looked up from her cooking, seeming rather harassed.

'Yes, of course, dear,' she replied absently. 'As long as Mr and Mrs Granger don't mind.'

'Great!' Ron replied with a large grin. 'Oh, shut up, George!' he added. Ron's older brother, George, had nudged his twin Fred in the ribs and Fred raised his eyebrows meaningfully in Ron's direction. Ron shook his head at them, his ears turning pink.

'How is Hermione planning to get here?' Arthur asked with a furrowed brow. 'I really think she should have an escort of sorts, can't be too careful. Voldemort may know she is a friend of Harry Potter's.'

'Can't she just come by floo powder?' one of the twins asked. Remus always had trouble telling them apart.

Sirius shook his head. 'There are too many enchantments guarding the fireplace from unwanted visitors, and it wouldn't be safe removing them. Anyone could just walk in.' Sirius took a long sip of his wine.

'Well, I don't mind going to meet her,' Remus offered. As one of the only Order members without a full time job he felt the urge to offer every sort of help he could. Although babysitting fifteen-year-olds was not exactly the kind of work that made him proud to be part of the Order. He sighed, swallowing the resentment. His condition limited him from doing the kind of work he might want, but he could not justify turning anything down.

'I could help out too, if it's in the evening. I'm on day shifts in the Auror office this week,' Tonks offered brightly. As she swung round her sleeve caught on a saucepan, which Molly just managed to catch before it tipped over.

'Tonks, dear, why don't you have a seat? I think I can manage on my own now,' Molly suggested in a strained tone, nervously inching a couple of pots out of Tonks's way.

'Tomorrow evening, then?' Ron asked hopefully, eyeing Remus and Tonks.

'Sure,' Tonks agreed happily as she took her seat.

'Oh …' Remus suddenly remembered. 'I'm afraid I have work to do tomorrow evening.'

Remus's work for the Order had so far been divided between two jobs, one of which had proved extremely uneventful and, if Remus was honest, rather boring; the other risky and incredibly daunting. The first was Remus's share of shifts guarding Harry Potter's house in Surrey and following the boy wherever he went. Since Harry's furthest ventures were to the nearby swing park or hanging around the local primary school's deserted grounds, and the most dangerous thing Harry had encountered so far was his fat cousin, Remus hardly relished those watches. But his second duty he dreaded for altogether different reasons, and it was to this that Remus was obligated the following evening.

'I can go then,' Bill volunteered easily as he swept a pile of chopped vegetables neatly into Molly's cauldron.

They sat down to dinner. The group was rather sparse now – only the Weasleys, Remus, Sirius and Tonks had stayed on for dinner. While Remus and Arthur discussed the various charms protecting the house, Tonks and Bill chatted and laughed quietly next to each other. The younger Weasley boys were talking loudly about Quidditch, while Ginny and her mother argued in harsh, whispered tones over whether or not Ginny could visit her boyfriend, Michael, during the holidays.

As they finished off the meal, Remus noticed a flash of movement by the door. A large pig snout poked into the room, followed by bulging eyes and a pair of large ears that resembled a bat's. A funny little creature wearing a ragged sheet around its waist slunk through the kitchen doorway.

'What are you doing skulking about here, Kreacher?' Sirius called roughly.

'I see Master is back, and he has brought some friends,' came the harsh, croaky voice. It was the Black's house elf. Sirius had warned Remus that he might appear and that he would be far from happy to serve them. Indeed, the little elf looked less than pleased to face his old master.

'Get out of here, Kreacher,' Sirius ordered, and Remus could sense hatred for more than just the house elf in his friend's tone.

Kreacher looked like he might explode as he realised he had to obey Sirius's every command. He gave Sirius a murderous look and slouched into the shadows, muttering under his breath.

'Well, it looks like the whole house is pleased to have me back,' Sirius joked, although behind his smile he looked rather strained.

'At least he still has to obey you,' Remus pointed out. 'It would have made life awfully difficult otherwise.'

Sirius nodded. 'He should take orders from you as well, Tonks.'

Tonks raised her eyebrows in interest. 'Really? I might have to try that out. I never had a house elf!'

The evening became more and more mellow as it wore on. It grew past the point where everyone would usually retire to bed or go home, and instead they drank endless cups of tea and conversed lazily without noticing the late hour. Remus listened absently to Tonks chatting intermittently to Molly, Bill and Ginny. She seemed to be the catalyst keeping everyone entertained, always knowing just what to say to everyone, hardly ever stuck for conversation. During the occasional moments when she was not talking or laughing and her expression relaxed, there was a trace of the haughty, bored look Sirius used to wear when he was young. She even had the same grey eyes as Sirius: Tonks was a Black, no question about it. Though evidently not everyone shared the opinion.

'Can you make us some more tea please, Kreacher?' Tonks asked politely.

Kreacher stared at Tonks from where he stood half hidden in the shadows. His face was contorted in fury and Remus half expected steam to burst forth from its ears.

'Bad enough that Kreacher has to take orders from his Master after he broke his poor mother's heart, but Kreacher will not answer to this filthy blood-traitor, no, Kreacher won't! Calling herself a Black, poisoning this house. Oh, if only Kreacher's Mistress could see …' The house elf's voice started off as a growl and swelled into a miserable wail.

Tonks burst out laughing and Kreacher howled and backed out of the kitchen with incoherent insults rolling of his tongue.

Eventually everyone began to yawn, and Molly sternly ordered her children up to bed. Tonks stood up to leave, stretching indulgently.

'Goodness! I didn't realise the time! I'd better be off home,' she said. 'Thanks for the meal Molly, it was lovely.'

'I'll let you know when we need you for night duty at the Ministry, Tonks,' Arthur told her. 'It will probably be later this week.'

Tonks nodded and after shaking hands and saying goodbye to everyone she headed for the stairs. Remus followed her up to the front door so that he could lock the house up behind her. Tonks watched patiently as he undid the magical locks and bolts.

'I hope we haven't scared you into not coming back,' said Remus with a smile, keeping his voice low so he did not awaken Mrs Black's portrait.

Tonks eyes widened. 'Are you kidding? Wild thestrals couldn't keep me away. This is great!' she exclaimed in a whisper. Her expression became more serious, although she rolled her eyes and her tone was slightly sarcastic. 'And yes, I understand it's dangerous, don't worry. I just mean it's great to be a part of this, really make a difference, you know?'

'Of course,' Remus replied. As the last lock was undone, he opened the door, A warm breeze drifted over them, wafting a musky, flowery smell into the house. 'And I'm sorry about earlier, Tonks. I just wanted to be sure you knew what you were getting involved in. I didn't mean that I doubted your ability or –'

Tonks laid a hand lightly on his arm for a second. 'No hard feelings.'

She smiled at him and held out a hand to shake his.

'It was nice to meet you, Remus,' she said simply, before turning to the door. She walked down the stone steps to the pavement, where she turned and disapparated, a wide grin just visible on her face as she vanished into thin air.


	4. A Sleepless Night and an Early Morning

The Order of the Phoenix meeting left Tonks feeling exhilarated and slightly jittery. She barely slept that night as all the information she had heard turned over in her mind. During the meeting, everything had washed over her and she had not taken the time to really think about any of it – the horrific things that Voldemort had done so far and what might still be to come – but now as her thoughts unfolded she felt apprehension clawing at her stomach.

But not once during her tossing and turning did Tonks regret going to the meeting, or consider turning her back on the Order. Every horrible idea, every realisation of the dangers they all faced, only made her more resolute.

As the brief few hours of summer darkness began to dissolve into daylight, Tonks could not stop thinking about Remus Lupin's words.

'… you're very young … no amount of Auror training can prepare you … it's dangerous …'

Suddenly a different voice filled her mind, a voice she had not heard for several years.

'You? An auror? You're joking, aren't you, Tonks?'

A chorus of laughter echoed in her memory. It was friendly laughter, but there was a definite mocking undertone. She was fifteen, and had just emerged from a meeting with Professor Flitwick about her career options. It had been Professor Flitwick, not her, that first brought up the idea of Auror training. Tonks had never been very concerned with life after Hogwarts and she had certainly never pictured herself chasing dark wizards for a living. In fact her own instinct had been to laugh.

'You're kidding, Professor.'

'Your marks have been among the highest in your year, Nymphadora,' little Professor Flitwick had told her proudly.

'But I don't even work all that hard,' Tonks had pointed out bluntly.

'Well then, imagine what you could achieve if you did! You are an exceptionally bright young woman. You could be whatever you dreamed of, if you just put in a little effort.'

'But why an Auror?' Tonks had mused. 'Aren't they like … all serious and stuff? And, you know, good at duelling … and really stealthy and everything?'

'I think you'd be surprised at what you're capable of, Nymphadora. You possess many qualities that I believe would make you an excellent candidate for Auror selection. I hear you are one of the best Defence Against the Dark Arts students we've seen in a long time. And then, of course, there is your Metamorphmagus ability – that would be a real advantage.'

Tonks had emerged from the meeting absorbed in a pamphlet about Auror training and harbouring a newfound ambition. Resolving to start studying harder immediately, she was hardly able to contain her excitement as she recounted Professor Flitwick's words to a large group of friends in the Ravenclaw common room. Her enthusiasm was met with a stunned silence, until that voice, that jeering, scornful voice, pointed out that Tonks was hardly Auror material.

'What are you going to do, turn your hair green and _scare_ them into Azkaban?' the boy continued to tease. 'Or just trip over your feet and hope you knock them over?'

Tonks was hurt, although she laughed it off and refused to show that she was bothered. After all, he was right: who would believe that silly, blundering Tonks, with her odd, changing appearance and her awkward lack of grace, could make it as an Auror? But rather than being put off, she became completely solid in her resolve to succeed, and a few years later she was rewarded for her tenacity. Tonks was the only Hogwarts student chosen from her year to begin Auror training, leaving several disgruntled applicants in her wake – one of whom being the boy who had scoffed at her.

Despite her success, Tonks had never forgotten people's initial scepticism, and it played on her mind now after the Order meeting. What if everyone thought she was too young? Too silly? Too outspoken? She kept trying to tell herself that as an Auror, she was ten times more qualified than the rest of them at dealing with dark wizards. But the truth was that the criminals she came across in her day-to-day work were nothing compared to Voldemort. He and his Death Eaters were in a whole different league. And the Order members were well aware of that. Fifteen years ago when Voldemort was at the height of his power, Aurors had it a lot tougher than Tonks had so far. Granted, she had been in a few risky situations and dealt with a few wizards whose wrong-doings bordered on ghastly, but they did not even compare to the horror Voldemort and his followers had caused … were causing. It was still strange to think about it in the present tense. She shivered at the thought of what was to come. People could die. No. People _would_ die. That much was guaranteed, no matter how hard the Order worked, no matter how careful they all were.

'I don't know if I can do this,' Tonks whispered into the silence of her bedroom, and her voice sounded shrill and shaky. She was glad no one from the Order, or anyone else for that matter, was there to hear her fear.

But in a moment of clarity, it occurred to Tonks that it really did not matter whether she joined the Order now, or waited until the Ministry accepted Voldemort was back and the Aurors were all involved. She was going to have to face this eventually, and it could make all the difference in the world if she offered her help sooner rather than later.

'I can make a difference,' Tonks said out loud, and this time her voice did not waver.

The next day passed as a blur. Tonks was lucky that she did not have too much to concentrate on at work. Paperwork was the order of the day, and for once Tonks did not complain as she ploughed through mounds of files, looking for information about the elusive wizard, Francis Henderson, who continued to target muggles and perform horrendous curses on them in the Strathclyde area of Scotland.

Everything at the Ministry seemed different somehow. When she looked at her boss, Rufus Scrimgeour, or any other senior member of Ministry staff, she no longer felt in awe, but rather looked at them with contempt. She wanted to shake them and yell at them, _how can you be so blind?_ It was disconcerting, the switch in perception. Tonks felt as though it was now she who had power, and that the Ministry officials were mere puppets in Fudge's deluded little game of Ignoring The Facts.

After tossing and turning all night, Tonks was light-headed from lack of sleep by the time she left work to meet Bill. Hurriedly packing up her stuff, she had no idea how it got so late: one minute she was poring over her files and it was barely past lunch time. The next, it was almost six o'clock and she had ten minutes to get there. She apparated to a quiet side street near the Underground station, but it was impossibly to get any closer without attracting attention in the muggle-packed city-centre streets. _Bloody rush hour_, she cursed, gasping for breath as she ran the rest of the way to the tube station. _Why do those muggles all have to leave work at the same time? Don't they realise it would be easier if they all went home at different times?_

Bill Weasley was leaning casually against the wall outside the busy tube station. He was a tall and rather lanky guy, with a long nose spattered with freckles and red hair pulled back in a pony tail. Unlike most wizards, he looked completely comfortable in the muggle clothing he wore, blending in with many of the young men passing them in the street. Tonks remembered Bill well from school, more than she had let on the previous evening. The truth was, most of the girls in her year had fancied him. Tonks had never quite seen the appeal. He was just too calm and cool, too confident. Tonks usually preferred someone with a bit of fire about them, someone more passionate and exciting. Someone who, like her, was not quite comfortable in their own skin. Even now as Bill stood in the packed street, he looked completely content, coolly oblivious to the throng of muggles hustling past him.

'Sorry! Sorry!' Tonks called out as she puffed towards him. Bill checked his watch lazily and smiled.

'Don't be silly, we still have plenty of time.'

'So Hermione's parents are bringing her on the Underground?' Tonks managed to catch her breath enough to ask.

'Yeah. Ron was begging to come with us but Mum said he had to stay at Grimmauld Place and help her with the cleaning,' Bill said with a grin. 'You should have seen his face!'

Tonks laughed. 'So this Hermione, is she Ron's girlfriend, then?' she asked conversationally. Bill let out a laugh.

'No. At least, not yet. He certainly talks about her enough … although mostly to complain about her.'

'Ah, that's a sure sign that he fancies her, then!' Tonks told him with a grin.

As they pushed their way into the packed tube station, Tonks and Bill chatted about his work for Gringotts. Tonks could never have imagined anything more dull than working for the Wizarding bank, but hearing about Bill's job changed her mind.

'I can't believe you were working in Egypt! That must have been amazing,' she exclaimed.

'It was pretty cool, yeah. The tombs were fascinating. I really loved it there.'

'You must be gutted, having to be back here in gloomy old London, especially with everything that going on,' she said sympathetically.

'Nah, not really. It's definitely great being back with my family. You have no idea how much I missed them all.'

'Yeah, it must have been tough being so far away from them. How long were you over there for?'

'Well I started working for Gringotts straight from school and I had a year's training here before I went out to Egypt, so … it must have been about five years.'

'And you were a curse breaker? What exactly do they do?'

'Well, my team were working on trying to get into the pyramids to find the treasure hidden in them.'

Tonks gasped. 'That sounds brilliant!'

'Well, yes, I suppose it must sound kind of glamorous, but we quite often go months at a time without finding anything, and when we do it's only a very small amount at a time. We're not exactly stumbling on caverns piled high with gold every day!'

As Bill described the trouble curse-breakers often ran into in the pyramids, the pair of them reached the ticket desk and realised they couldn't get through the turnstiles without a ticket.

'Well I suppose we should just wait here for them … unless you want to do a sneaky little conjuring spell … you know, get ourselves a ticket to get through?' Tonks gave Bill a mischievous grin. 'Or put a Confundus charm on all the muggles so we can jump over the barrier unnoticed?'

Bill smiled vaguely but said, 'Better not.'

Tonks suppressed a giggle. Maybe he thought she had been serious. Not many people seemed to pick up on when Tonks was kidding.

'I have to say, I am so glad someone else my age has joined the Order,' Bill confided as they waited.

'I can imagine,' Tonks nodded.

'I mean, don't get me wrong, they are a great bunch … but it's a bit much to take sometimes. I don't have much in common with them.'

'What about your girlfriend? Won't she join?'

'Fleur? To be honest she doesn't know all that much about it. She knows Voldemort is back and that we're trying to let people know and trying to fight him, and she believes it and she's very supportive, but I don't think she's really the type to join up. I mean, she's a really talented witch and I'm sure she could help us but it's just not really her thing.'

Tonks nodded, although that sounded a rather strange attitude. _Not her thing? _she thought. _This is fighting You-Know-Who, not some hobby._

Perhaps Bill read the expression on her face, because he chuckled and said. 'I know what you're thinking, and yeah … Fleur is rather flighty. But she's a great girl, she would help if she could. She's young though, she's only eighteen. I wouldn't want her to put herself at unnecessary risk just because I'm in the Order. If it wasn't for me she wouldn't even know about it. And I don't even think Dumbledore would let her join. Plus the idea of Voldemort doesn't mean as much to her, since she grew up in France. She doesn't know how bad things were the first time round.'

'Yeah, I think I know what you mean.' Tonks could not imagine being able to help and not doing anything, so it was hard to picture anyone doing that. But she understood what Bill meant, and that he wanted to protect Fleur and not involve her.

'Oh look, there she is!' Bill exclaimed, pointing. A crowd of people surged over the top of an escalator and swarmed towards them, and Tonks had no hope of making out who Bill was pointing at. Then a young girl began to wave enthusiastically as she approached, breaking into a jog, while the older gentleman who accompanied her struggled to keep up due to the enormous trunk he laboriously dragged behind him.

'Bill!' the girl exclaimed, and threw her arms around him. Bill gave her a quick hug and the girl stood back and looked at him. 'It's so great to see you again!'

She was slightly shorter than Tonks but less skinny – in fact, Tonks smiled to herself, this fifteen year old girl probably looks older than me. She was dressed in very plain muggle clothing and had a lot of very curly and rather bushy hair that was pulled back messily into a pony tail. Several strands had escaped and were falling onto her face, which was flushed from excitement and the heat of the station.

'Hermione, how have you been?' Bill replied. He gestured towards Tonks.

'This is –'

'You must be Tonks!' Hermione addressed her with shining eyes. 'It's very nice to meet you. Ron told me you've just joined the Order, I got a letter from him this morning to say you and Bill would meet me. You're an Auror aren't you? That must be fascinating! I have loads I want to ask you about it.'

Hermione talked very fast and Tonks was slightly taken aback at this stream of conversation, trying to keep up with what she said. Hermione's father smiled politely at both Tonks and Bill until Hermione remembered he was there and said 'Oh, I'm sorry, this is my father. Dad, this is Bill Weasley and this is Tonks.'

She and Bill both shook hands with Mr Granger, who looked a lot less nervous than Tonks would have expected of a muggle passing his magical daughter over to the care of two wizards he had never met.

'Well, I suppose we should get going then,' Hermione said expectantly.

'All right,' Bill agreed.

'Are you sure you have everything?' Mr Granger asked his daughter anxiously.

'Of course I have, Dad,' Hermione replied, rolling her eyes.

'And you'll be all right? You know you can come back home before the end of the holidays if you want to,' he told her earnestly. 'And make sure you write to us as often as you can.'

Tonks wondered exactly how much Hermione's parents knew about Voldemort, and about and where their daughter was spending her summer. It was hard to tell whether his concern was his usual reaction to saying goodbye to his daughter, or if it was due to his knowledge of the dangers the Wizarding world faced. Tonks highly suspected he knew very little about it. Why else would he allow his daughter to leave home again after only one week of the holidays?

Hermione and her father hugged each other tightly and Tonks took the handle of the large suitcase.

'It's rather heavy, I'm afraid,' Mr Granger warned her apologetically.

'Not to worry,' Tonks said with a wink, and she let her wand, which she had hidden in her sleeve, poke out enough to aim a spell at the trunk, which immediately became feather-light.

'All right. Well … goodbye dear. Enjoy the rest of your holiday and have a good term.' Mr Granger hesitated. He looked like he did not want to leave.

'Bye, Dad,' Hermione said pointedly.

'We'll take good care of her, I promise,' said Bill sincerely. Mr Granger smiled, looking slightly more relaxed, and with an embarrassed wave he turned and left.

Hermione turned expectantly to Bill as they headed for the exit. 'Didn't Ron want to come and meet me too?' Her tone was casual but her expression gave away her excitement at the prospect of seeing her friend, and Tonks grinned to herself, remembering being fifteen and in love. Hermione and Ron might be one of the most unlikely couple she could imagine, but Tonks was almost jealous of the anticipation, the possibilities …

A couple of nights later Tonks was given her first shift doing guard duty in the Ministry's Department of Mysteries. It was a department Tonks had barely set foot in before and she found the place extremely creepy, particularly at nine o'clock at night when she walked through the deserted, dark corridors, feeling as though she was moving further into the belly of a slumbering beast. Arthur Weasley had given her directions to the particular place she was to guard, as well as instructions on what to do or say if she was seen there by other Ministry employees. He had also shown her an ingenious method Albus Dumbledore had invented, where one used their patronus to send a message, and informed her that that was how she was to communicate with the Order.

The night passed as one of the slowest in Tonks's life. For the first couple of hours she was tense and alert, pacing corridor, imagining footsteps and constantly twirling her wand between her fingers nervously, waiting to need it. But gradually, without even realising it, she relaxed, eventually even conjuring a chair for herself and going as far as stowing her wand back in her robes. By the time her watch told her it was nearly the end of her shift, she was slumped in the chair, fighting to keep her eyes open.

Finally, at seven o'clock in the morning, her shift was over. Luckily it was not necessary during the day, as even on Saturdays the Department of Mysteries was full of the Unspeakables who worked there.

Tonks cautiously made her way out of the Ministry. She did not meet a single soul on the way, and as always she found the enormous building rather grim and daunting when it was deserted, and quite different from the usual noisy, bustling atmosphere of the daytime. Checking her watch, Tonks sighed and decided it was not worth going home for just a couple of hours before the meeting at nine o'clock that morning. She apparated to Grimmauld Place and dragged her exhausted feet to the front door, where she performed the tricky little charms Sirius had shown her to unlock the door.

It was already daylight outside, the sun well on its way to making the day uncomfortably hot, but inside Number Twelve Grimmauld Place a layer of darkness seemed to envelope the hall. She had planned to catch a couple of hours' sleep on the couch in the drawing room before the meeting in the morning, but as she picked her way carefully through the hall, she realised she was famished, and headed for the stairs down to the kitchen instead.

Managing to navigate the hall without bumping into anything for once, Tonks crept downstairs into the basement kitchen. So far so good. As she brushed past the table, her cloak caught on the corner of a chair and it began to tip; swiftly, she whipped round and caught it before it hit the floor. _Phew_. Tonks opened the fridge and rummaged hopefully for some of Molly's leftovers that she could heat up.

Tonks suddenly stiffened and listened in silence. She was sure she had heard footsteps, and nobody in the house would be up at this hour. Suddenly Tonks could not remember whether she had locked the front door behind her. It seemed very unlikely that she would forget … but in her exhaustion, everything had been a bit of a daze and she could not clearly picture bolting the door behind her. But after several moments of silence she breathed again, deciding she was only feeling jumpy after being on duty all night and expecting the worst, and she turned back to the fridge.

Then came the unmistakeable sound of a stair creaking in the hallway. Her breath catching in her chest, Tonks felt for her wand. The moment she saw the door handle turn, her wand was out.

'Expelliarmus!'

Two voices had called out the spell, but only one wand flew into the air.

Remus Lupin stood in the doorway, his look of shock slowly melting into an embarrassed smile.

'Tonks! Sorry, I heard a noise, I thought I had better check who it was.'

'I'm sorry, Remus, I've just come off duty and I thought I might as well come straight here for the meeting,' Tonks explained apologetically. She bent down and lifted the pale ash wand from the floor.

'Here you go. Sorry about that,' she whispered, holding out Remus's wand. As he stepped into the kitchen, the light hit his face and Tonks was shocked at how ill he looked. His face was even more pale than usual, his eyes sunken and bloodshot.

'Remus, you look awful!' Tonks exclaimed, immediately regretting her lack of tact. 'Are you all right?' She pulled out a chair and he sank into it gratefully.

'Just…a little tired. It was full moon last night, I only changed back an hour ago,' he told her. 'I'll be back to normal in a couple of days.'

Tonks studied him worriedly. She had never seen a werewolf right after they turned back into their human form; she didn't realise what a toll it took on them. Remus looked as though he had not slept in a week

'Let me make you a cup of tea,' she offered helpfully.

'Well … yes, all right,' Remus conceded.

'Don't worry, I'll try not to wake up the rest of the house in the process,' Tonks grinned, reaching for the kettle.

'Ah, now, I never thought that for a moment,' he countered. 'Although I _am_ impressed at how little noise you made coming in just now. I doubt I'd have heard a thing if I hadn't been awake already.'

Tonks beamed. 'See, I'm getting much better. I reckon I could show my old Stealth and Trackingtrainer a thing or – '

There was a small crash as a cup slipped through Tonks' fingers and smashed on the floor.

'Oops.'

Tonks felt her face heat up. Why, oh why, could she not be graceful for just ten minutes? Remus looked like he was trying not to laugh as he got up to help clean up the mess.

'Don't worry, Tonks,' Remus told her kindly. The pair of them knelt on the floor, picking up fragments of the broken teacup. It occurred to Tonks that really, they should be using magic to do this. It would have taken about three seconds.

'Ouch,' Tonks yelped, dropping the offending piece of china. A trickle of blood ran down her finger. Remus looked up.

'Let me see,' he said, reaching for her hand.

'It's nothing, it's fine,' Tonks protested. Reluctantly, she allowed Remus to examine the cut. Holding her hand gently in his, he pointed his wand at her finger.

'Episkey,' he said, and immediately the gash healed over.

'There we go, good as new,' Remus murmured, running his finger over her skin where the cut had been.

'Thank you,' said Tonks. Remus let go of her hand and she examined her finger; there was not a trace left of the cut.

'My Mum used to use that one on me when I was little,' Tonks said, smiling. 'She needed it quite often with me, as I'm sure you can imagine. But I could never quite get the hang of it myself.' She rolled her eyes self-deprecatingly.

Remus smiled. 'I'll teach you, if you like. I became rather an expert with it during my Hogwarts years.'

'Oh?' said Tonks enquiringly.

'Well, yes … I often used to … cause damage to myself during the full moon. A side effect of being incarcerated in the Shrieking Shack, with no humans to ... er …' Remus looked extremely uncomfortable. Tonks felt an incredible surge of sympathy towards him. Her school years had been a blur of friends, pranks and the odd bout of cramming for exams. She could scarcely imagine having to deal with Remus's problem every month.

'It must have been very hard … coping with something like that when you were so young,' Tonks ventured. Remus looked thoughtful, not quite meeting her gaze.

'I suppose I didn't remember anything different. I was so young when I was bitten.'

'Do you remember it?' Tonks asked. Remus looked up at her sharply, and once again Tonks wished she had bitten her tongue.

'Sorry,' she said quickly. 'You probably don't want to talk about— '

'No, I don't remember it,' Remus interrupted, this time not looking away. 'I don't remember anything about it.' He had a strange expression on his face, not quite angry or sad, but tense, as though he was trying not to think about it, as though he never let himself think about it. He held her gaze for several seconds, not speaking. Tonks felt the hairs on the back of her neck prickling. She felt extremely uncomfortable, but she could not look away. For once in her life, she could not quite find the words she was looking for.

His expression relaxed a little, and he moved up to a seat at the table. Tonks followed suit and sat opposite him.

'I remember a little about the first transformation though. It was a few weeks later. I was still in St. Mungo's. They moved me to a private room in time for the full moon. I didn't have a clue what was happening, I was too young to understand. No one had told me it was a werewolf that attacked me, or that this would happen to me. I just remember starting to feel this tingly sensation all over, which then became an unbearable itch, and then it became enormously painful. Like my skin was trying to turn itself inside out, or like something was trying to burst out of me. Well, I suppose something _was _trying to burst out of me.' He smiled a wry smile. 'And then nothing more until the next morning. My mother was hugging me and crying, and I was covered in bite marks and scratches.'

It was all Tonks could do to keep from reaching out to hug him. Her heart ached for that little boy, in pain and confused.

'How did they … you know … keep you safe?'

'Keep me from attacking anyone you mean?' said Remus shrewdly. Tonks blushed, but smiled. He was so matter-of-fact about it all. Tonks marvelled at his strength.

'They tied me to the bed.' Remus acknowledged her shocked expression with an embarrassed smile. 'There really wasn't much else they could have done. Because I was so young it was not difficult to restrain me. In fact, even if I had been let loose I probably couldn't have done much damage to anyone. It was more my own safety they were worried about. They realised quickly that if they just locked me in a room I would bite and scratch myself. Of course, once I was a bit bigger the restraints were no good and the only thing they could do was lock me up.'

'Gosh, that sounds awful, Remus. I can't imagine what you went through.'

'I honestly think it was worse for my parents. My mother … I just remember her crying a lot. I don't think I really understood why. But my father was even worse. He blamed himself. The werewolf who attacked me did it because of him. My father offended him, he worked for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures and he was responsible for a piece of legislation about werewolves that did not sit too well with some of them. Of course, I've never blamed my Dad. Not when I was a child and not now. In fact, sometimes I blame myself for what happened to him.'

Tonks looked up sharply. 'What happened?'

'He always vowed he would go after Greyback – that's the werewolf that bit me – for what he did, and over time he became reckless. He was killed when I was seventeen.'

'By the werewolf that attacked you?' Tonks whispered fearfully. Remus let out a bitter snort.

'Not even by him. He didn't even get as far as confronting Greyback. He couldn't get near him before he was killed by band of werewolves – Greyback's followers.'

'Remus … I am so sorry. I don't know what else to say. You've just been through so much.'

Tonks hated feeling awkward like this. Remus seemed so strong, so together. If those things had happened to her, she would have fallen apart long ago.

'Well … there were always people around to help me, wonderful people. My family were there for me when I became a werewolf … and when my father died, I had my friends – James, Sirius, Peter, Lily … then when I lost my friends I had … someone else.' He trailed off, and Tonks did not press the matter, though she was dying to ask about this person, and why they were no longer in his life. Remus smiled at her and she could sense an ending to this conversation, as though an invisible line had been drawn under it. The dynamic changed, the atmosphere lightened.

'So tell me, Tonks, how did your first night on duty go?'


	5. A Realisation

The tree-lined street was silent and dark and seemed to be completely deserted. The air was thick and heavy, still stiflingly hot even though it was well past midnight. Nothing was moving, not even a stray cat in the shadows or a curtain in a window, and there was no noise whatsoever, not even the sound of distant muggle traffic or a rustle of trees in the non-existent wind. The street appeared to be completely deserted. But it was not.

Outside a grand-looking house with a sweeping gravel driveway, a figure skulked in a cluster of trees. This figure seemed to be invisible, but any time it moved, a ripple went through its surroundings. This ripple would be almost undetectable to anyone unless they were looking for it, and the figure was hoping against hope that no one was looking for it.

Remus, hidden by his own Disillusionment charm, continued to wait in the shadows, just as he had been waiting for the past two hours, just as he had been waiting for most the past week: waiting, hiding, watching for a sign of Avery, the Death Eater he was tailing.

Avery had been in Remus's year at school and had always been a thoroughly unpleasant man, strongly suspected by the Order, and indeed the Ministry, of working for Voldemort all those years ago. However, no evidence against him had been found and he was acquitted of all charges after Voldemort disappeared by claiming he had been acting under the Imperius curse. But Harry had named Avery as one of the first Death Eaters on the scene when Voldemort returned in June, a certain clue that he was part of Voldemort's inner circle. Severus Snape, in his capacity as spy for the Order, had been subtly trying to find out the identity of all Voldemort's current followers, but unfortunately he was having some trouble: Voldemort did not like to entrust too much information to any one person and as such, Severus had not yet heard any mention of Avery. There was very little chance that Avery had left Voldemort's service and not been murdered for it, so it was more likely that Avery's work for Voldemort was so important, so deadly, that hardly any Death Eaters knew about it.

Each day, Remus had followed Avery home from his job at the Comet Trading Company factory where Comet Broomsticks were manufactured, and so far Avery had returned to his shabby block of flats every night, showing no sign of any dubious activity or suspicious liaisons. Tonight, however, Avery had left his flat in the late evening and travelled by broomstick to a large house almost fifty miles away, closely tailed by an almost-invisible Remus. This house was where Remus was currently waiting: hoping, but at the same time dreading finding something going on, from a meeting with another Death Eater, to Voldemort himself hiding in the house.

The sound Remus had been awaiting for the past several hours came, and his skin prickled. Footsteps crunched on the gravel path as a figure emerged from the house, looking warily around before continuing towards the front gate. The person's secretive manner roused Remus's suspicion that they must be up to no good. Remus pressed himself against the large tree and hoped the Disillusionment charm he had cast on himself was good enough. He could not match Alastor Moody's expertise with that tricky spell, and had been known to miss an elbow or a nose on occasion.

As the person moved closer to him, Remus realised that this was not the tall, wiry figure of Avery. This was a much shorter person, one who seemed to shuffle rather than walk. Remus squinted, trying to make out who it was, but the figure was shrouded in a hooded cloak which covered even his face. He was slightly stooped and there was something in the awkward way he moved that seemed vaguely familiar to Remus. He waited to see where the person would go, praying they would not apparate away before he had the chance to discover the identity of what may be another Death Eater.

The cloaked figure passed the cluster of trees behind which Remus hid, giving not so much as a glance in his direction. Feeling slightly bolder, Remus moved cautiously out of the shadows, ready to follow him.

Then as the figure reached the gate, it stopped very suddenly and whipped around. Remus resisted the wrenching urge to leap back out of sight, knowing his best chance of remaining unseen was to stay still, although he felt excruciatingly visible. He watched as the silhouetted figure raised his wand slightly and took a half step towards where Remus stood. Remus stayed perfectly still, trying not to breathe quite so loudly and to stop his heart thumping so hard. The person stood for a second, wavering on the spot, before lowering his wand and appearing to shake his head. The sound of a quiet, wheezy chuckle reached Remus's ears, a nervous laugh which was horribly familiar. Then as the figure turned away, his hood slipped back slightly and Remus felt his blood run cold with revulsion as he recognised the wispy hair and rat-like features. _Wormtail._

It was the first time any of the Order had seen Peter Pettigrew since he assisted in Voldemort's rebirth in June, though they had been searching for him at every possible opportunity. Remus could scarcely believe that he had finally managed to track the wizard down, and without even trying. He felt a desperate urge to rush at Pettigrew, and his fingers closed automatically around his wand, gripping it so tightly his finger nails cut into his palm. He felt his blood pounding in his ears, overcome by the memory he had relived again and again over the past month, of the chance he had had to kill Pettigrew a year ago. This time, watching Pettigrew walk away, the memory was ten times more vivid and Remus could barely think due to the crippling regret he felt. Every fibre of his being wanted to curse Pettigrew from where he stood: it would be easy enough, Pettigrew had no idea he was there, would have no chance to defend himself. Remus could kill him before Pettigrew could even reach for his wand.

But Remus's orders were very clear. No Death Eaters were to be confronted, nor to discover they were being followed. Remus would die rather than disobey Albus Dumbledore. So slowly, he let his pulse return to normal and loosened his grip on his wand. Pettigrew was now disappearing along the road. With any luck, he was not going to apparate at all, and if Remus pulled himself together and followed, Pettigrew might lead him to some important information. Quickly assessing the situation, Remus considered whether waiting at the house to see if any more Death Eaters emerged would be more useful than following Pettigrew. It was not an easy choice: Pettigrew was likely to apparate, making following him redundant. But Remus could not resist the need to know what Pettigrew was up to.

So he found himself trailing after Peter Pettigrew, watching his lopsided gait and seeing his head dart this way and that, looking out for trouble. After a while, Remus began to wonder where exactly Pettigrew was heading. They had walked along a series of quiet streets, possibly even going in circles, almost as though Pettigrew was choosing their route at random. It was growing light now, and Remus felt dead on his feet from lack of sleep.

Then, as they reached the most rundown, deserted street so far, Pettigrew stopped suddenly, and Remus heard somebody behind himself stop too: he had been so intent on following Pettigrew that he had not even noticed the other set of footsteps following them. Remus stayed completely still. Pettigrew turned and faced his direction.

'Who's there?' Pettigrew called out. Remus had no idea whether Pettigrew was talking to him or the person that had followed them both. Or whether that person was following him or Pettigrew. If only he could turn round to see who it was.

'Yes,' came a low voice that Remus recognised as Avery's. 'Who _is _there?'

'We've got you cornered,' Pettigrew said shrilly, a look of nervous glee on his face. 'You might as well show yourself!'

Remus's heart sank.

'So what is it?' growled Avery. 'An invisibility cloak? Some kind of concealment spell?'

Remus felt himself flinch involuntarily as Avery's voice grew gradually closer behind him, and Pettigrew let out a slight laugh.

'A Disillusionment charm!' Pettigrew exclaimed excitedly. 'I see the outline moving, he's bewitched to take on the appearance of his surroundings! You can't escape, we'll see your every move.'

'You have two choices, friend,' Avery said dangerously. 'You can try to run and be killed before you take two steps. Or you can show us who you are, and maybe we can all reach some kind of … agreement.'

Remus shuddered, knowing that any agreement which didn't end in his death would involve capture, torture, and a choice between voluntarily joining Voldemort's side, or being forced to.

But as Pettigrew and Avery drew menacingly closer to him, and Pettigrew's sick smile widened, Remus had an escape route ready. With one hand clamped on his wand, the other snaked into his pocket and clutched a handful of coarse powder. He waited for the opportune moment, when Pettigrew was drawing just close enough to touch him and Remus could sense that Avery was right at his back, and he threw the powder into the air and yelled an incantation. Instantly, they were all plunged into complete blackness, so dark the air seemed thick with smoke. Remus ducked out of the way as Avery and Pettigrew began to shout, and as curses flew in all directions and sparks shot past his head, Remus disapparated.

The silence rang in his ears. Standing in yet another quiet, empty street, relief washed over him. At least this street was familiar. As he stood in Grimmauld Place, a few houses down from Number Twelve, Remus glanced down over himself to check for any wounds from close-flying hexes. All he could see was the pavement: he was still Disillusioned. Shaking his head at how slow his brain was working at the moment, Remus raised his wand arm to remove the charm and winced at a stinging pain above his elbow. Once his body was visible again, he realised his sleeve had been slashed and his arm was bleeding heavily. He quickly repaired the damage and examined his work. It was not a perfect job: his arm still bore a mark and was slightly tender, but it would have to do for now. After hurriedly fixing his torn robes and siphoning off the blood so that no one would know he had let himself get injured, he headed into the house

He was not expecting to find anybody up so early in the morning, but as he descended to the kitchen he heard quiet chatter, and walked in to find Molly and Arthur holding cups of tea and talking worriedly by the door.

'Oh, Remus, you're back! Come in and have a cup of tea,' Molly exclaimed kindly, looking relieved to see him.

As Molly ushered him in, Remus noticed a dark-haired woman sitting at the kitchen table, but before his tired brain could begin to wonder who she was, the dark head turned around to reveal a familiar face.

'Tonks! Hello, I almost didn't recognise you there!' he greeted the young woman, who looked rather different without her trademark pink hair. As Tonks smiled at him warmly and Molly placed a steaming mug of tea in front of him, Remus suddenly felt very happy and comforted to be around friendly people again.

'Wotcher, Remus. You look almost as knackered as I feel,' Tonks greeted him cheerfully, rubbing her eyes. 'I've been working all night. Just had to pop round and speak to Arthur.'

It was the first time Remus had seen Tonks since that early morning two weeks ago when they had talked in the kitchen. He had been so busy lately that the conversation had barely entered his head, but now, as he looked at her, the memory of it made him feel more at ease with Tonks than he felt with many people he had known for a lot longer. Something in her eyes had made him open up to her without thinking anything of it, telling her things he would usually never tell a soul, never mind a girl he had only met a handful of times. She had been understanding and kind, listening without judgement or fear, and he was grateful for that.

'How did your night go, Remus? Did you find out anything about Avery?' Arthur enquired. He, too, looked very tired and Remus suspected nobody else in the room had been to bed that night either. He wondered how long it would be before this war was over and they could all sleep normally again.

'Actually, I just had a rather near miss,' Remus told them. 'Avery must have realised someone had been following him and he cornered me. I'm positive he can't have seen who I was, though, I was still covered by the Disillusionment charm. And you will never guess who I ran into along with Avery!'

Remus recounted the night's events to a wide-eyed audience, the three of them gasping when he reached the part about Wormtail.

'So if Wormtail was there do you think that means it was You-Know-Who's hideout you found?' asked Tonks.

'Exactly, Wormtail was with V-Voldemort –' Molly winced as she spoke the feared name: it was the first time Remus had ever heard her say it '– all last year while he was growing stronger, do you think he's still with him now?'

'It's certainly possible,' Remus replied. 'Though I'd bet that whatever the house is, how it appeared to me wasn't its real form. I couldn't see anyone through the windows, the whole place was in darkness. I suspect its true nature was hidden somehow. Possibly a Fidelius, or maybe some dark spell of Voldemort's own invention.'

Remus continued the story, feeling embarrassed when he admitted how he had allowed Pettigrew to lead him on a wild goose chase, and that he had not noticed Avery sneaking up behind him.

'still don't know how they sensed I was there. But it was really quite stupid of me to let myself be noticed – I could have put all the Order's work in jeopardy had I been captured. I should have been more vigilant.' Remus sighed wearily, resting his chin heavily on his hands.

'Nonsense, Remus,' Arthur disagreed.

'Yes, it sounds like you were being very careful. Don't beat yourself up over it,' Tonks assured him.

Their kind words did little to ease Remus's conscience, but he appreciated the reassurance.

'Well, I'd better get home and get some sleep,' said Tonks, her words muffled by an enormous yawn. 'I'm working again tonight.'

'You'll come round for dinner before work, won't you, Tonks?' Molly asked eagerly. 'Bill's coming too.'

'Thanks Molly, that would be nice,' Tonks replied, yawning again as she said goodbye to them and headed up the stairs.

'You look as though you haven't slept all week, Remus!' Molly said, turning on him imperiously.

'That's actually not too far from the truth,' he admitted. Remus had been snatching fragmented hours of sleep during the day while Avery was safely at work, and it had been a while since he had even seen a proper bed.

'And I bet you haven't been eating properly either,' Molly tutted. She turned towards the stove. 'Well, I'll make you some breakfast and then you can go up to bed. Honestly, nothing for the Order is so important that you can't all take care of yourselves. Between you and Tonks, I don't know who's worse for taking on too much.'

Arthur smiled conspiratorially at Remus, a half-amused, half-apologetic expression on his face. 'I knew it wouldn't be long before Molly started clucking over you the same way she does with myself and the children, Remus.'

Remus returned Arthur's rueful smile, but secretly thought it was rather nice having someone worrying about him and taking care of him. It had been a while since anyone had fussed over him.

After Molly had fed him a large breakfast, she sent Remus upstairs to bed. It really was like he was one of her children, or perhaps a younger brother. _Not that much younger_, Remus reminded himself. It was strange. He still felt like a relatively young man and his life seemed a hundred miles away from Molly and Arthur's world of a twenty-five year marriage and grown-up children. Yet he was closer in age to Molly and Arthur than he was to the younger generation, to Tonks or Bill. _When did I get so old?_

Despite the many thoughts circling in his head, Remus only lay awake thinking for a short time and the next thing he knew, the sun was low in the sky and it was almost evening. He had slept for twelve hours and still felt exhausted, but thoughts began to chase each other in his mind again and he was too keyed up to sleep any more.

Not long after he awoke, there was a knock at his door and Sirius poked his head into the room.

'That's dinner ready, and Bill's brought his new girlfriend round to meet Molly and Arthur. Just wait till you see her! Apparently she's part Veela.'

Remus groaned inwardly. A Veela! He hated the way all men, including himself, reacted to those creatures. Remus hated anything which threatened his composure. He steeled himself as they descended the stairs to the basement, getting ready to face a woman with the power to entrance every man in a ten mile radius.

A young woman with long, silvery hair sat at the kitchen table with her back to the door. As Remus and Sirius entered the kitchen, she turned and gave them a dazzling smile, and even though he had prepared himself for it, Remus was still struck by how beautiful the girl was. Bill introduced his girlfriend as Fleur Delacour, and when she said hello, it was in a low, throaty voice with a thick French accent.

As they settled themselves at the table, Sirius kept shooting furtive glances in Fleur's direction and his eyes looked a little glazed over. Bill looked as though he could not quite believe that this girl was there with him. Even Arthur seemed mildly distracted by the presence of this stunningly beautiful woman in their kitchen. Molly and Tonks, standing at the stove, looked rather unimpressed, and Molly gave the rest of them disdainful looks as the pair served dinner.

'Where are the others? Ron, Hermione and the twins?' Remus enquired.

'They've already eaten,' Molly replied. 'I thought it would be nice if it was just the adults for this meal.'

'Fred and George put up quite a fight though. They wanted to stay to get to know our guest,' said Sirius, raising his eyebrows pointedly at Remus.

'Yes, _thank you_, Sirius,' said Molly disapprovingly, and Remus could not blame her for sending the boys away. Three hormonal, teenage boys in the same room as a Veela could not be a pretty sight.

Fleur talked an awful lot throughout the meal, and everyone else had trouble getting a word in edgeways, though none of the males seemed to mind listening to Fleur very much. Molly did not look terribly pleased, though, and even Tonks, who was usually very easy-going, looked a little disgruntled when Fleur repeatedly interrupted her.

After a while, Remus was pleasantly surprised to realise he was not reacting to Fleur's Veela charm quite as strongly as the others. While Sirius and Bill seemed rather oblivious to the conversation going on around them, Remus was finding it quite easy to concentrate on what Tonks was saying about her and Kingsley's efforts to recruit more Ministry employees to the Order.

_Perhaps it becomes easier to resist it with age_, Remus wondered. _Although you wouldn't guess it from looking at Sirius_.

Sirius was currently gazing unashamedly at Fleur, his dinner barely touched, and Remus considered nudging him out of his stupor before Bill noticed. Even Arthur seemed to be having some trouble dealing with Fleur's effect, concentrating very hard on his lamp chop, completely avoiding looking in Fleur's direction.

_So perhaps it's not age then_.

'How is your lamb, Fleur?' Molly asked politely, with a smile that did not quite reach her eyes.

'Eet ees quite nice, Molly, thank you. Of course, I would never normally eat like zis, it is far too 'eavy. Zis kind of food is why so many Eenglish people are overweight'

Molly's cheeks coloured and she looked very taken aback. 'Right, I see. Well perhaps some time you would cook us something French? Something more to your tastes?' Her manner was friendly, but Remus knew enough to sense a sarcastic tone. Fleur seemingly had not sensed that tone.

'Oh, but I'd be 'appy to, Molly! I think I could teach you a lot about cooking, we do it so differently in France, it's much more … 'ow do you say … sophisticated,' said Fleur enthusiastically, unaware of the look Molly was giving her.

Remus was a little startled: perhaps it was merely the language barrier, but Fleur's words had verged on downright rude. Molly's cheeks turned an even darker shade of red and she opened and closed her mouth a few times, unable to respond. Finally she forced a smile and said 'Lovely!' a little too loudly. Fleur beamed at Molly and then at Bill, who looked so dazed that he may not have even heard the exchange. Molly looked at Arthur pleadingly, but Fleur's words seemed to have drifted over his head as well and he looked back at his wife with a glassy, questioning expression. Tonks appeared to be the only other person to share Molly's outrage, throwing Fleur a dirty look. Remus tried to smile at Molly sympathetically, but she did not acknowledge it.

Although Molly was polite to Fleur for the remainder of the meal, her face grew gradually more stony. Fleur seemed oblivious to Molly's expression as she continued to voice her opinion at every opportunity, in a manner that made it hard to believe she was only eighteen years old. Remus always tried hard to see the best in people but he could not help thinking that Fleur was just a little too arrogant and opinionated, especially for one so young. At one point, while Fleur was describing in great detail the differences between Sirius's dreary house and her enormous home in France, Tonks caught Remus's eye and rolled her eyes, and he had to work hard to suppress a laugh. He found that he was barely aware of Fleur's effect anymore, and he was not sure whether he was becoming acclimatised to being in the room with her, or being put off by her personality, or if there was another reason.

Tonks rushed away to work immediately after dinner, and right after she left Bill and Fleur stood up to go as well. Remus's head was beginning to cloud slightly and suddenly he found his gaze drawn to Fleur again, which he could not understand. He had barely been aware of her throughout the meal but now his brain was becoming fuzzy again, the long blonde hair seeming to hypnotise him whenever it swung over her slender shoulders. A couple of times he realised Molly was trying to speak to him, but he could not quite focus on what she was saying and despite her frustrated expression, he found he did not care terribly much.

As Bill and Fleur headed out of the kitchen, Sirius, Remus and Arthur all shook their heads slowly, blinking, adjusting to normality.

'I'm really not sure about this _Fleur_,' Molly muttered after Bill closed the door behind them and the remaining group began to clear the table. 'There's something about her … she's just so haughty, and more than a little rude.'

'Don't be silly, Dear, there was nothing wrong with her,' Arthur chided, then flinched as she threw him an angry look.

'She seems like a nice enough young woman, Molly. A little outspoken, yes, but Bill seems quite happy with her,' said Remus tactfully.

Molly tutted. 'Bill's in a daze whenever she's in the room. That's no basis for a relationship.'

'Bill's an adult, Molly,' Arthur reminded her gently. 'He has to make these choices for himself.'

'I know,' Molly sighed. 'But why can't he pick a nice, down-to-earth girl like Tonks?'

Remus looked up sharply, a strange sensation rippling through him.

'Bill and Tonks?' He laughed nervously and turned back to the dishes he was supervising washing themselves. He had never pictured Bill and Tonks together, it had never occurred to him at all.

'They're a lot better suited than Bill and Fleur,' Molly insisted darkly, beginning to sort out a pile of laundry. 'I really don't know what he sees in that little madam beside her looks. Mind you, she'd be a lot better-looking if she didn't wear a face like there's a bad smell under her nose all the time.'

Sirius sniggered.

'What did you think of her, Sirius?' Arthur asked. They all looked expectantly at Sirius, and Remus flinched, waiting for Sirius's crude appreciative comment of Fleur's best assets.

'I agree with Molly, actually,' Sirius said, surprising everyone. 'Fleur's got her looks, certainly, but that's all. She was really rather boring to listen to.'

Molly smiled smugly. 'Well, I'm glad _someone_ can see past her looks. Honestly, you all looked too befuddled to notice a word that came out of her mouth.'

'You didn't seem very bothered by Fleur, Remus,' said Sirius. 'Did you have something else on your mind?'

'Perhaps Remus is just a little more mature than that,' said Molly in a bit of an icy tone, and stalked out of the kitchen with a pile of clean laundry for the children.

'I doubt it has anything to do with maturity,' Remus murmured thoughtfully, and Arthur nodded at him in agreement.

'Age and experience might help you control your reactions, but it doesn't lessen the effect. Sirius is right, you did seem rather oblivious to Fleur's, er … charms,' said Arthur with a smile.

'What was it then?' asked Sirius interestedly.

Arthur looked very thoughtful, his brow furrowed intently. 'Well … it's not common, but I have heard that a Veela's effect can be lessened by the presence of another woman to whom a man is very attract— ' Arthur broke off and looked at Remus with surprise.

Sirius let out a snigger. 'Anything you'd like to tell us, Moony? Got the hots for Molly, have you? Better watch out, Arthur – you've got competition!'

Remus jumped up from his seat immediately. 'I have to, er … go and … well, I could do with an early night.' He walked swiftly out of the room, the faint sound of chuckling following him up the stairs.

Just over a week later, on a Monday evening, Remus returned to Grimmauld Place after a rather dull day's work for the Order. He had spent the day standing guard over Harry's house in Surrey, although the only sign he had seen of the boy was his outline in his bedroom window a few times. Pacing the street in the sweltering sunshine, he wondered who was more fed up in their environment – Harry or himself. He quickly realised things must be much worse for Harry, ostracised from all his friends and in the dark about what was happening. If Harry was anything like James – and Remus had seen personally that the similarities went further than just looks – then he would be driven crazy, stuck in that house with no contact with those he cared about.

Remus had finally been relieved of duty by Mundungus Fletcher, who had turned up just before six o'clock (almost an hour late) muttering something about cauldrons.

Tonks was sitting in the kitchen with Sirius and the pair were chatting, although Sirius did not appear to be saying an awful lot. Since Tonks had joined the Order, Sirius had not said much about her to Remus, but Remus knew any link to Sirius's family was bound to upset him. He supposed it would take a while for Sirius to accept that Tonks was, like himself, something of a black sheep in the Black family. Remus admired Tonks's tenacity: no matter how brusque Sirius was with her, she continued to be friendly and would not give up on getting to know him.

'Got to go and feed Buckbeak,' Sirius announced gruffly not long after Remus appeared, and did not even give Remus the suggestive grin he had expected.

'I see you two are getting on all right, then,' said Remus, smiling uncertainly.

'Yes, I finished work a little early and for once I didn't have anywhere else to be, so I thought I'd pop round so we could have a proper chat while everyone else was out,' Tonks explained. 'I got the feeling he found it strange having me in the Order – he's kind of bitter about how his family treated him, isn't he? But we've had a nice chat about my mum and stuff. He's a good guy, isn't he?'

'Yes he is, Sirius was always a good friend to me. It'll be good for him to get to know a family member that's a little more like him,' said Remus carefully, and Tonks nodded enthusiastically.

'Cup of tea?' she offered, aiming her wand at the kettle, which started to whistle.

'Yes, please,' Remus replied.

After placing the fresh cups in front of them both, Tonks settled back comfortably in her chair, looking very at home.

'So … you're not working tonight, then?' he asked airily. Something clicked in Remus's head. Something like … anticipation? He tried to shake it off.

'Nope! It feels so good to actually have a night off for once. It's been a bit mad recently, hasn't it?'

'Yes it certainly has, I know how you feel.' Pleased, Remus looked forward to a night of company. Sirius was obviously in one of his sullen moods, and Remus would almost have preferred to spend an evening with Kreacher than with his moody friend.

'So what did you think of _Fleur_, then?' Tonks asked with a slightly sarcastic tone.

'Fleur? Er, yes, she's a nice young woman. Bill seems quite taken with her,' Remus replied nervously.

Tonks wore a slightly amused expression, knowing perfectly well what all men thought of Fleur. 'I see …' she replied slowly, and seemed to be waiting for him to continue.

'Did you, er, not like her?' he asked innocently. Tonks exhaled rather loudly.

'She's all right. Bit full of herself. _Completely_ full of herself, actually. I can imagine her being a pain in the arse if she was around all the time,' Tonks replied bluntly.

Remus nodded and, unsure whether laughing was an appropriate response or not, he ended up making a strange wheezing sound that was halfway between a laugh and a cough.

'Oops, look at the time! I'd better be off!' Tonks exclaimed suddenly, jumping up and reaching for her cloak.

'You're going out?' Remus asked, surprised.

'Yes, I'm going for a drink with Bill, Fleur and Hestia,' Tonks explained. She clocked his expression and her face fell. 'What's wrong? You don't think I should be going out?'

'No, no, of course you should!'

'I mean, I know things are pretty serious just know and we all have to be careful, but we should still all try to have some semblance of a normal life, don't you think?' she said earnestly.

_A normal life_, Remus thought bitterly. _I wonder what that's like_. But he smiled broadly and said 'Absolutely! Have a good time!'

'You don't … I mean … do you want to come along?' Tonks asked, worry clouding her face. 'Sorry, I just didn't think to ask you …'

'No, no, not at all … lots of things to be getting on with here … and someone has to keep Sirius company of course.' He smiled a little too widely. She cast him one last doubtful look and headed out of the room, giving him a weak wave and an apologetic smile.

_When did I get so old?_ Remus found himself thinking once more. It did not seem like so very long since it was he, James, Sirius and Peter who were the ones heading to the pub after Order meetings and receiving disapproving looks from the older generation. Surely Tonks did not think him so old that he would frown on her doing the same now?

He tried to imagine the scene if he had accepted her (albeit grudging) invitation to join them, tried to picture himself sitting with the young group: with haughty Fleur, giggly Hestia and her nervous-looking muggle husband; with Bill, who admittedly was actually a rather decent, down-to-earth guy; and Tonks … silly, fun, lovely Tonks. Instead he found himself picturing only himself and her, and rather than a loud, smoky pub it was a quiet restaurant where the two of them would whisper together over a nice meal. Or an evening chatting by the fire, as he had dared to hope for tonight … maybe their hands would accidentally brush each other as they both reached for their glass of wine, or she would grow tired and her head would rest on his shoulder when she fell asleep. Or one night after an Order meeting, when everyone else had gone home, a heated discussion between them about the Order's work would turn into a passionate kiss. Or –

Remus groaned. Those kind of thoughts had been forming in his head with alarming frequency over the past few days, seemingly out of nowhere. Was he really so lonely that he would fantasise about the only eligible female in his life?

_But it's more than that_. He shook off that thought. It was _not_ more than that. He would not allow it to be more than that. It was a fleeting fantasy, the product of a lonely existence, the result of it being a few years since he had been in anything resembling a relationship, and a hell of a lot longer than that since he had really been in love.

_And since when are Bill and Tonks so friendly, going to the pub together?_

_Stop it, Remus._

But the next time he saw Tonks, at an emergency Order meeting the following morning, his stomach jumped into his throat and his heart began to hammer.

_Oh, how inconvenient_, he lamented as he tried to smile neutrally at her. _This is going to make working with her so much more difficult._

Sure enough, now that he was aware of his feelings for Tonks, all he wanted was to avoid her all the time. Unfortunately, now was a time when the Order, and more importantly Harry, needed them both.


	6. A Spy and an Unwelcome Interruption

Tonks opened a sticky eye, closed it again and let out a small groan.

_ Water_.

She reached out a hand, groping blindly on her cluttered bedside table for her glass. A small crash told her she had knocked it onto the floor. _Urrrgh_ Her tongue felt furry and her head was pounding. _Need water_ Trying to move as little as possible, she fumbled on the floor and retrieved the now empty glass. Pulling her wand out from its usual spot under her pillow, she aimed it at the glass. '_Aguamenti_,' she croaked, and gulped at the fresh cold water she had conjured. Bleakly, she wondered as she always did on the rare occasions she suffered a hangover, what would happen if she just pointed her wand at her mouth and performed that spell.

Thank goodness she did not have to work today. She could sleep all morning, have an afternoon to herself for the first time in ages, then head to the Ministry in the evening for her guard duty in the Department of Mysteries with a clear head.

She thought back to last night, though the memory was slightly hazy. She could vaguely remember a pub. She could certainly remember Firewhisky. A _lot_ of Firewhisky. It was all Hestia Jones's fault. Tonks had never been much of a drinker, but for some reason last night she had found Hestia's idea of drinking shots of Firewhisky a great idea, and that was the beginning of a downward spiral: after the first two, things had become a little blurry. _It was definitely Hestia's fault_. Hestia was about thirty and worked for St Mungo's Hospital as a researcher into magical illnesses and cures. She had joined the Order not long after Tonks, recruited by a St Mungo's colleague who had been in the Order the first time round as well. Both of her parents and her husband were muggles. In fact, her husband Andrew had been there last night too – he had seemed a little nervous at first, but soon relaxed and after a short time Tonks had forgotten he was even a muggle. Although that might have been the Firewhisky.

Fleur, of course, hadn't gone near the stuff, sticking to her little glass of Gillywater all evening. Fleur was far too graceful and sensible to get drunk.

The sun was so bright. Far too bright. It hurt her eyes. In fact, it almost looked like it was getting brighter and brighter … and instead of a golden glow, the sun now seemed to be emanating a silvery shimmer through her window. She shielded her eyes from the painful glare and squinted at the square of blinding light.

A silvery mass hovered outside Tonks's window for a moment, before floating straight through the glass. Eyes screwed up against the dazzling light, she stared at the glowing shape, startled. Then she recognised it.

It was a patronus. Tonks sat up, feeling more alert all of a sudden. This was the first message she had received from the Order via someone's patronus, and she had been so eager to see how it worked. Her excitement turned to wariness as she realised it could only mean something was wrong. The message came, clear as a bell, in Arthur Weasley's voice:

'An emergency meeting of the Order of the Phoenix has been scheduled for eight o'clock this morning. Please try to attend if at all possible.'

Tonks moaned and checked her watch: it was seven-fifteen.

Three quarters of an hour later, Tonks let herself into Grimmauld Place and scurried down to the kitchen. The room was crowded with a dozen or so Order members drinking the usual cups of tea and extra-strong coffee, most of them looking almost as bleary-eyed as Tonks. Molly Weasley was handing out bacon sandwiches. It looked like Tonks was the last to arrive.

Bill flashed a knowing smile at her as she refused Molly's offer of food (the smell sent a wave of nausea through her) and took one of the last empty seats at the table. Bill did not look remotely worse for wear. Hestia, too, looked wide awake and breezy as she waved at Tonks from the other end of the table. _Why me?_Tonks wondered forlornly.

Remus, who was sitting opposite her, kept looking at her oddly. _Oh no. He knows I'm hungover_. It had been obvious last night that he disapproved of her going to the pub, and Tonks wondered crossly what was so wrong with daring to have a little fun. The next time he glanced her way, she gave him a defiant, questioning look and he turned away, his cheeks colouring with annoyance. _He really needs to lighten up_.

Albus Dumbledore arrived, and that was when Tonks began to worry properly for the first time. It was only the second time out of the eight meetings Tonks had been to that Dumbledore had attended.

As usual, his business was quick and to the point.

'Harry was attacked by Dementors last night.'

A ripple of shocked voices ran around the room. Molly clapped a fearful hand over her mouth. Several people called out, asking why … what had happened to him … where his guard had been.

'He's fine, he's fine. He managed to fight them off, although his illegal use of magic has got him into a spot of trouble with Ministry.' Another ripple went round the room, of outrage at this unfairness, but mostly of surprise and appreciation at how talented a wizard the young boy was. Tonks herself was amazed: she had never heard of a fifteen-year-old being capable of fighting off Dementors.

Dumbledore patiently waited for silence before continuing. 'However, this occurrence has brought to light how much danger Harry may be in at his Aunt's house. It is my decision to remove Harry from there as soon as possible. Apart from the peril he might be facing, if Harry is forced to defend himself again he could find himself expelled from Hogwarts, or worse.'

'How do you plan to get the boy here, Albus?' growled Mad-Eye Moody. 'If he wasn't safe in his own neighbourhood, he can hardly just stroll onto a train, can he?'

'Exactly. It is rather problematic. My first suggestion is to send a large group, an Advance Guard, to the house to escort Harry.'

Mad-Eye nodded approvingly. 'The more people we have there, the better. But it'll take careful planning. It could turn into a matter of life or death.'

Though she understood the seriousness of it, Tonks fought the urge to roll her eyes at Moody's dramatic assessment of the situation. She glanced up to find Remus looking at her disapprovingly once again, and fought to keep a perfectly solemn look on her face. He was really beginning to put her on edge. _Just because he's so straight-laced that he never has any fun_.

'What about his aunt and uncle?' Sirius interjected. 'Do you think they're just going to let a band of wizards traipse into their home and take their nephew?'

'Well, from the way they treat him I don't think they'd mind us taking Harry off their hands.' Molly pointed out, her face reddening with obvious indignation at how Harry was treated by them.

'No, Sirius has a point. It would probably be best if the Dursleys were not at home when the Order arrived,' Arthur pointed out.

'How can we get them out of the house?' Remus wondered aloud.

'Perhaps we could pretend to be one of their son's teachers … say he's in trouble and they need to come to the school to discuss it?' suggested Molly.

'No, the Dursleys would never go for that. They think that fat son of theirs can do no wrong,' said Sirius. 'We need something that will play on their weaknesses.'

There was a long silence as everyone thought hard. In her head, Tonks ran through everything she had heard from Sirius, Molly and Arthur about the awful Dursleys.

'Maybe … maybe if we send them a letter, make them think they've won something … tell them there's a ceremony to go to, to collect their prize …' Tonks said, screwing up her face in deep thought.

'Brilliant idea, Tonks!' said Hestia, grinning at her.

'Yes, well done. I'll let you arrange that, Nymphadora,' said Dumbledore. He was the only person whose use of her first name did not annoy her. 'I trust you know how the Muggle postal system works?'

'Yes, my Dad told me all about it,' she replied.

'Excellent!' Dumbledore exclaimed. 'Now then, Alastor, I imagine you have some ideas for transporting Harry safely …?'

It seemed like hours later when the meeting finally drew to a close, though it was not even nine o'clock yet. Tonks felt her eyelids flickering and had to fight to stay alert, propping her head up with both hand as Mad-Eye Moody finally finished showing them his complex, moving illustrations of the route they were to take and the formation they were to fly in. They were just finalising who would make up the Rear Guard to take over in the event that any of them were incapacitated, when Mad-Eye suddenly jumped out of his seat. His magical eye was whirling crazily and even his normal eye was darting about as far as it could.

'Alastor – what on earth's the matter?' Arthur asked urgently, standing up and looking panicked. Tonks glanced around the kitchen warily but she had not seen or heard a thing to make Mad-Eye act like that.

'The room's not secure. Someone is listening at the door,' Mad-Eye announced ominously.

With these words, a scuffle was heard on the other side of the kitchen door. When Arthur threw it open, Tonks could just make out two pairs of feet disappearing as their owners scrambled up the stairs. Ginny Weasley was standing in the doorway, her cheeks flaming the colour of her hair.

'_Ginevra!_' her mother cried in outrage, leaping up to stand next to her husband. 'What on earth do you think you're playing at?'

Arthur looked mildly impressed.

'I just came down to see if the meeting was finished yet,' Ginny replied calmly.

'What's that you're hiding?' Molly demanded, advancing on her daughter.

'It's nothing, Mum,' replied Ginny weakly, backing away. Tonks was amazed at how well Ginny held up against Molly's interrogation: she'd have been terrified. Molly snatched something from behind Ginny's back.

'Extendable Ears – I should have known,' said Arthur, suppressing a smile as he inspected the item in Molly's hand.

Tonks had to work harder than ever before to hold in her laughter. It was exactly like something she would have done at Ginny's age. Glancing up, she caught Remus's eye once again, but this time, thankfully, he was not giving her a look of disapproval but looking quietly amused himself.

'Well? I'm, waiting, young lady. You had better explain yourself!' said Molly.

Two figures sheepishly descended the stairs.

'It wasn't all her, Mum. The Extendable Ears are ours.' Fred and George grinned warily at their parents.

'I want you to go straight back upstairs and bring me every set you have. No, George, I refuse to believe this is the only pair. Go and get them all right now, go on! And if I find out you've kept any there'll be big trouble!' Molly's voice carried up the stairs after the children, before she turned back into the kitchen, shaking her head angrily. 'Honestly! We'll have to start putting an Imperturbable Charm on the door from now on.'

It was difficult to settle back down to the meeting after that. Molly was seething, Mad-Eye was on edge and many of the other members seemed to be holding back smiles, secretly impressed at the Weasley children's inventiveness. For a few minutes they returned to a discussion about possible risks they could face on the journey and Tonks found the nerve to voice what she had been wondering.

'So … so is there really a chance that Harry's being watched? Could he really get attacked by a Death Eater on the way here, or even by V-Vol— by You-Know-Who?'

Tonks flushed with shame at her failed effort to say the name aloud and felt as though everyone was staring at her, wanting to shake their heads with pity.

'Yes, there's certainly a risk that Voldemort or his followers are watching Harry's every move,' replied Remus.

Tonks felt his eyes on her, convinced he had placed an emphasis on Voldemort's name, that he was trying to point out her immaturity for not being able to say it. It may have simply been paranoia, but something in the way Remus looked at her as she spoke always made her feel like he noticed her weaknesses and looked down on her, waiting for her to slip up. Ever since her first meeting, when he challenged her suitability for joining the Order, she had wanted to prove to him more than anyone else that she belonged in it. Today, especially – though she could not put her finger on the reason – she constantly felt she was under his scrutiny.

After the meeting finished and people filed out of the room to go to work, Tonks remained in the kitchen and thought again about what she knew about the Dursleys. One of their most valued things was respect from their neighbours … what could they win to impress their neighbours …? She thought about her Dad's muggle parents, how her Grandmother was forever pottering in her beloved garden, keeping it in shape even when old age rendered her practically immobile. 'Can't let the weeds grow in, what will the neighbours think!' was Granny Tonks's insistence.

Tonks doodled idly on a piece of parchment, letting the concept form in her head and scribbling down ideas. Molly and Sirius wandered in and out of the kitchen at intervals but she was concentrating so hard she was barely aware of them. When Tonks finally finished drafting a letter she looked up to find Sirius making yet another cup of tea. Sirius made a lot of cups of tea. Tonks, though she had been jealous at first that Sirius had so much free time compared to her, was beginning to feel sorry for him being all cooped up here, bored out of his mind.

'Sirius? What do you think of this idea?'

Sirius moved very grudgingly over to read the parchment, but as he scanned the page, he began to smile to himself and even make suggestions, and Tonks quickly suspected he was glad to be involved in something. They discussed the letter, passing ideas back and forth, talking about Harry and slagging off the Dursleys until Tonks realised they were laughing almost like old friends.

'Thanks a lot for giving me a hand, Sirius. I don't think anyone else here knows Harry like you do – you've been a great help,' she told him, feeling awkward now. 'You know, I can't wait to meet him.'

Sirius's face lit up. 'He's great, he's a really great kid. He's so much like his father, James, in some ways, but then in others …' Sirius trailed off looking somehow happy and sad at the same time.

'…he's like his mother?' Tonks ventured.

Sirius chuckled nostalgically. 'I suppose he does have Lily's modesty … even some of her common sense … but Harry's something else altogether. He risked his neck to save mine last year. He was only thirteen. He knew nothing about me except that I'd been his father's best friend. I've never known someone so loyal. Lily and James would have been so proud of him.'

'They sound like wonderful people. I wish I'd had the chance to meet them,' Tonks said uncertainly, giving Sirius an encouraging smile, praying for him not to close off from her again the way he always did. Neither of them had much in the way of family and Tonks was desperate for them to become close, but she constantly felt on edge with him, just waiting till the next time she said the wrong thing and he withdrew from the conversation again. For a second his expression was unreadable. Tonks held her breath, but Sirius's face relaxed.

'They were great people. Amazing. The best friends anyone could have.'

'They certainly were,' said a voice from the doorway. Tonks jumped.

'Remus, I thought you'd gone out,' said Tonks, flustered. She felt awkward enough trying to connect with Sirius without finding out someone was listening in to their conversation.

'I did, but I got back just now. I just had to fly down to Surrey with Mad-Eye for a couple of hours, check what the best route for Thursday will be. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop.' He wandered into the kitchen and sat at the table next to Sirius.

'That's all right, Moony,' Sirius replied with a grin.

_Moony? What does that mean?_ Tonks thought moodily. _And who says it's all right? I don't! Sirius and I were really getting somewhere._

'Looking forward to seeing Harry, Sirius?' asked Remus.

A broad smile crossed Sirius's face: Tonks didn't think she'd ever seen him look so cheerful. 'Yeah, can't wait. How do you think he's doing? I suppose he must still be pretty shaken up after what happened last month.'

Remus nodded and the pair began to discuss Harry and how strong he was after all he had had to deal with. Tonks listened intently at first, interested in hearing about Harry, but their conversation quickly drifted onto James and Lily, and soon it was like they were speaking a different language as they reminisced about their time at school with them.

As Sirius and Remus chatted, Tonks was vaguely jealous, though she knew it was daft. Why would Sirius not open up to her the way he did with Remus – like a brother? She was an only child and felt as though she had never had that kind of closeness with anyone. Yes, she had always had lots of friends, but Tonks was always the funny one, the silly one, the life and soul of the party but nobody's best friend, no one's confidant. She had always longed for a brother or sister to experience that familiarity.

'Oh, you're all in here, are you?' came Molly's voice as she staggered into the room, weighed down by a huge mound of dirty laundry. Remus jumped up to help her. _Suck up_, Tonks thought irritably.

'Tonks and I were just planning how to get rid of the Dursleys on Thursday night,' Sirius explained and Tonks's mood lifted as she felt a small swell of pride, at both doing something important for the Order and the fact that Sirius was acknowledging their shared effort.

'That's nice,' Molly replied absently. 'Well, seeing as you're all down here, you can give me a hand making lunch for the children.'

As Tonks lay awake that night one thought was keeping her awake. _They all say Voldemort's name_. She would have to be brave and speak it too. She would not have Remus and the others look down on her and pity her because she was afraid of a name.

'Voldemort,' she said out loud. Although, actually, it was more of a whisper. 'Voldemort. _Voldemort_,' she said. _Better_. 'Lord Voldemort … I am a member of the Order of the Phoenix and we are ready to fight you, Lord _VOLDEMORT!_'

Her voice had grown louder and more shrill by the end of the sentence and she realised she was breathing a lot faster. She felt naughty, like she had just sworn out loud in front of her father, but rather than the fear she used to feel when she heard people speak the name, she now felt a sense of triumph.


	7. A Troubled House

Remus sighed as the kitchen door clicked closed and a thick layer of tension settled over the room. It was very late, but since Harry had arrived at Grimmauld Place a few hours earlier, an argument had been threatening to bubble up to the surface and now that the children had gone to bed, Molly was scowling openly at Sirius, who was staring back at her with narrowed eyes.

'You think we told them too much, do you, Molly?' Sirius challenged her. 'You think we should have just sent Harry and the others off to bed like good little children and told them nothing that's going on, nothing about the dangers we're all facing?'

Molly pursed her lips but said nothing.

'Because you're the only one who thinks so,' continued Sirius.

Molly looked at Sirius defiantly. 'That's not true. Dumbledore said he doesn't want Harry to know any more than he has to –'

'And that's all we've told him: what he has to know.'

'No, you crossed the line, Sirius … telling him about weapons and deaths … he doesn't need to hear that, he's been through enough!'

'And he's going to go through a lot more – none of us can prevent that no matter how we try to shield him! It's best if he knows what to expect, so he can be prepared.'

'But he's just a child!' Molly banged her goblet down on the table in frustration.

'We know, Molly,' Remus spoke up quietly. 'In an ideal world Harry wouldn't have to know about any of this. But what's happening is hardly ideal.'

'I suppose so.' Molly's eyes filled up with tears and Tonks, her face full of sympathy, laid a hand on her arm. Bill, on Molly's other side, put his arm around his mother.

Sirius looked both triumphant and horrified. 'I'm sorry, Molly. I don't want to argue about this, I'm just trying to do what's right for Harry. I know what he's like – and yes, you know him too. He would never be happy to live in ignorance and let us get on with it – he'd probably get himself into trouble trying to find out what Voldemort's doing.'

'He might be safer knowing what's going on,' Arthur agreed gently.

Molly gave a slight sob, wiping her eyes on a napkin. 'I still think we need to be careful how much we tell them all.'

'Of course, Molly,' Arthur assured her. 'Now then, it's late and we're all tired. I think we should all go to bed. Things will look brighter in the morning.'

Molly and Arthur left the kitchen and Bill said goodbye before heading home to his own flat. Remus was left sitting at the table with Sirius and Tonks, neither of whom looked like they felt like moving. Remus himself was exhausted – it had been a very long day, and it was also only a few days till full moon, which always drained him of energy – but he felt glued to his chair as well.

'You didn't need to attack her like that, Sirius,' he found himself saying in a rather harsher tone that he had intended. Sirius looked at him in annoyance and Tonks, too, looked surprised at Remus's words. 'Molly was only looking out for Harry's best interests.'

'And I wasn't?' replied Sirius, bristling. He looked more annoyed with Remus than he had been with Molly, and Remus had to admit he could understand why.

'Of course you were. But this is all very hard for her –'

'Hard for her?' Sirius let out a sour laugh. 'Hard for _her?_ Is she the one who has lost almost everything, who is reduced to hiding in his parents' old house, who can't do anything to help the Order? Harry is all I have left!' Sirius cried in a rasping voice.

'Come on, Sirius, be reasonable.'

'I will if she will, _and _ you. Of all people, Remus, I thought _you'd _be on my side. Now if you'll both excuse me, I'm going to bed.' Sirius stomped from the room, leaving Remus with a bitter taste of guilt in his mouth.

He was almost shocked to find himself alone again with Tonks. He had been carefully avoiding that for several days now. He was even more surprised when he registered the look on her face.

'I never imagined you two fighting before,' Tonks said softly. She looked almost upset and Remus felt even more guilty. 'You seem like brothers.'

'Well, isn't that what brothers do – argue?' said Remus, giving her a weak grin. 'We used to fight all the time when we were younger. We rarely saw eye-to-eye. I think we were usually both vying for James's time. I suppose it was as though James was our older brother and we both wanted his attention.'

He felt himself smiling at the memory of it all. _And Peter was like the_ much_ younger brother: idolizing James, jealous of Sirius and me for being closer to him_ ... But Remus could not bring himself to voice his thoughts on Peter … on Wormtail, rather. Remus did not like to think of that man as Peter anymore. Peter was the fifteen-year-old who had been loyal and kind to him, who had gone to the ends of the earth with the other two to help ease Remus's monthly burden. The man who had betrayed them all was not Peter. Not to Remus.

'I – I wish Sirius would talk to me like he talks with you,' said Tonks shyly.

'What – arguing and being rude?' he replied incredulously. Then his stomach turned over as she gave him her trademark eye-roll.

'No! Well, yes, actually. Just … all of it. He really opens up to you, Remus. You're the only one he will talk to.'

'Well, we have known each other for a long time. Much longer than we've known anyone else here.'

Her face fell. 'So it could take me years to get him to trust me.'

'I'm sure he'll come round sooner than that, Tonks.'

Remus was not quite sure why she was so intent on befriending Sirius: she seemed to be taking it to an extreme.

'I hope you're right. I really want him to be part of our family. If he gets his name cleared then he can see my mum again, she'd be over the moon!' Her face lit up and it was frightening how much it affected Remus to see her looking happy again: her smile made him feel warm from his head to his toes. He returned her cheerful grin and prayed once more, for the thousandth time in three days, that she would not guess how much it meant to him.

'It's funny, Remus. I always hang around here with the intention of talking to Sirius, and yet it's you I seem to end up chatting to.'

A short time later, Tonks went home and Remus slowly relaxed, the tension he always felt around her easing out of his system. He was heading to bed, assuming the rest of the house had long gone to sleep, when he heard muffled voices coming from Fred and George's bedroom. He thought nothing of it, smiling to himself at what Molly would say if she knew they were up talking at this hour, until he heard something peculiar.

'… always talking about guard duty. Dad said he was doing it tomorrow, but he told us he was just working. What do you think they're guarding?'

' … not sure … maybe a weapon …'

Remus paused outside the door, feeling slightly guilty for eavesdropping, which he realised was ridiculous considering how the children must have obtained the details of their subject matter. Remus had already suspected that the twins had kept a set of Extendable Ears, but now he was certain. He listened to their discussion for a few minutes, feeling slightly concerned, but he soon established that they had only overheard fragments of the Order's conversations and had very few details of any importance. He was slightly amused at the far-fetched theories they came up with to fill in the blanks.

'… maybe they're breeding a colony of Acromantula to use on the Death Eaters!' one of their voices echoed excitedly, followed by low, mocking laughter from his brother. 'Come on, it's possible!' the first voice insisted.

It was only when he heard one of the twins saying, 'What do you think of Tonks, then? She's a bit of all right, eh?' that Remus hastily decided that was enough eavesdropping for one night and went to bed.

It was a pleasant change having Harry staying at Grimmauld Place: Sirius was in a much better mood, for one, and Remus found he had missed Harry in the year that had passed since he had taught the boy at Hogwarts, having started to see him almost as a nephew of sorts. Remus was disappointed by how little time he was able to spend at Grimmauld Place with them all, but his duty to the Order came first. Instructed to take time out from following Avery, Remus was now tailing Bode and Macnair, and a lot more carefully than ever before. In addition, he was helping out with Department of Mysteries guard duty, so was often away from the bustle of the house for days at a time.

With so many people around the house all the time, it was also easier for Remus to distract himself whenever Tonks was present. Gradually he grew used to how he felt around her and after a few weeks he could happily sit in the same room as her without her occupying all his thoughts, and even hold a conversation with her without feeling awkward. Remus was relieved that his feelings were abating and glad that it had not turned out to be anything more than a fleeting infatuation. He and Tonks were so different that a relationship would have been out of the question. Now that his head was clearer about her, he realised how ridiculous that idea had been.

All too soon the month of August was over. Harry, Hermione and the Weasley children were due to leave for Hogwarts in a couple of days and Sirius was already practising being sullen again for when his godson left.

On the last evening before the children returned to school, Molly threw a small party for Ron and Hermione, who had just been made prefects. Molly was quite overcome with emotion at Ron's achievement, and when she wasn't chattering non-stop about how proud she was, she was having to wipe tears away with a tea towel, her apron, a stalk of celery, or whatever else was handy at the time. Remus was startled at first by this display until Tonks, noticing his concern, assured him that Molly's overly-emotional response was probably just a release of all the worrying she had been doing all summer.

Somehow, Remus had found himself sitting beside Hermione Granger who was wearing a very determined expression and going on about something to do with the rights of house elves.

Tonks, a sheet of long red hair swinging behind her, was sitting between Bill and Ginny Weasley. Tonks looked strikingly different with her hair like that, although Remus was getting used to her changing appearance. In fact, in a strange way, he found that the more different she looked from usual, the more comfortable he felt around her. It was almost as though she was a different person. When she had her usual pink spiky hair, it only reminded him of the silly notion he'd had that he had feelings for her. He smiled to himself as he turned back to Hermione, and could not help feeling glad he had got past such a daft idea and could now get on with things with a clear head.

Tonks, Ginny and Bill were talking animatedly and their loud conversation became interspersed with the steady stream of chatter from Hermione. Remus found himself paying less and less attention to the plight of the house elf, even though it was an undeniably interesting debate, and more and more attention to Tonks's inane chatter about Quidditch, though he had never been particularly interested in the sport.

'I've always supported Puddlemere United because my Dad did, but everyone knows the Montrose Magpies are the best British team by miles,' she was telling Bill, while Ginny listened intently.

'Nah, the Chudley Cannon are better!' Bill argued, grinning. He shifted in his seat to face Tonks squarely.

'Our whole family support them, they're ace,' Ginny agreed loyally from Tonks's other side.

' … and poor Kreacher,' Hermione was saying. 'He has obviously been driven to madness, being alone in this place for ten years, all he really needs is a little kindness.'

Hermione looked pleadingly at Remus, but he was finding it hard to concentrate on the young student.

'Well, Hermione, I do agree that it wouldn't hurt to show Kreacher a little kindness,' said Remus distractedly. 'But I can't honestly say it's likely to make much difference. After all, he served the Black family all his life, he is bound to have taken aboard their views, however despicable they may be.'

'But Dobby was Lucius Malfoy's house elf for _years _and he is the sweetest little thing you ever saw!' came Hermione's persistent protest, and Remus nodded wearily.

'… too right, I love Quidditch,' Tonks was saying. 'I was never on my house team at school, though, couldn't catch the Quaffle to save my life. I reckon I'd have made an okay Beater though.'

Remus wasn't meaning to listen to their conversation, but as Hermione continued to drone on about elfish rights, his eyes strayed to Tonks's sympathetic expression as young Ginny confided how she had thought about trying out for the Gryffindor team but was scared of her brothers making fun of her, or of making a fool of herself in front of Harry.

'I don't think they're holding open try-outs this year anyway, their team from last year is too good. The only way I could get on the team is by speaking to the Captain directly,' Ginny said gloomily. 'Maybe I could be a reserve or something.'

'Seriously, Ginny, as soon as you find out who the new Captain is, have a word with them and you never know what might happen,' Tonks advised.

As though a damn had burst, emotion washed over Remus like a tidal wave. In that simple moment, Tonks's kindness to Ginny seemed to flick a switch in Remus's brain and he felt like he was seeing her for the first time again. He suddenly knew, without any shadow of a doubt, that this sweet, lovely woman was going to infiltrate his every thought, every action, every motive, for a long, long time. He knew he was too far gone to ever hope for recovery.

And now he could not stop looking at her. The entire room seemed to have gone strangely silent as he watched her. Suddenly feeling extremely claustrophobic, Remus excused himself from Hermione and headed for a less crowded space beside Kingsley Shacklebolt.

Kingsley and Remus chatted about nothing in particular for a few minutes, Remus trying to think of anything but than Tonks, before Kingsley brought the conversation around to the new prefects.

'I must say, I'm rather confused by the choice. Do you have any idea why Dumbledore didn't make Potter a prefect?' Kingsley asked.

Remus could understand Dumbledore's reasoning perfectly, but he felt it was not quite appropriate to discuss the Headmaster's decision. As he tried to turn the conversation away from the subject of prefects, Remus glanced over his shoulder and caught sight of Harry, worryingly close by, hastily moving away from them. Remus gave an internal groan of regret, strongly suspecting Harry had overheard them. He kept an eye on the boy, intending to go and have a discreet chat with him in a while to see how he felt about the prefect situation. Usually Remus would leave those sorts of things up to Sirius, but even if it wasn't for the grumpy mood Sirius had been in for the past few days, Remus felt sure that Sirius wouldn't understand that Harry might be bothered by it at all – after all, Sirius had never been, nor ever wanted to be, a prefect.

Remus watched Harry for a few moments as he hovered at the table and spoke briefly to Molly, then to Mad-Eye Moody. Remus saw Mad-Eye bringing out that battered old photograph he had taken to carrying around lately to show to new Order members – a photograph of the original Order of the Phoenix. Mad-Eye handed the photo to Harry, who, after a few moments, looked rather startled and began to look longingly towards the door.

Remus noticed Harry slinking out of the kitchen a minute later looking very subdued. Remus wavered, unsure whether Harry would appreciate being followed upstairs, but his fatherly instinct won out and he squeezed through the crowd in the kitchen and made his way upstairs. He had reached the ground floor hall when footsteps told him someone else had come up after him.

'Remus, can I have a word?' Tonks asked, catching his arm. Her brow was furrowed with concern, an expression Remus had rarely seen on her outside of Order meetings.

Remus glanced up the stairs where Harry had disappeared to the next floor and hesitated.

'Well, I was just on my way to …' He was unable to resist the hopeful look she gave him. 'All right. What's the matter?'

Tonks took a deep breath. Could she be … _nervous? _That was another look he had never seen on her. She fixed him with a firm stare. 'I just wanted to say, I know what you think of me and I have to admit, I'm not very happy about it.'

Remus jumped. 'What?'

'I know you're not entirely convinced I belong in the Order. You think I'm not serious enough about it and I'm not aware of the dangers. Well, I'm going to prove you wrong.'

Remus felt a cold shiver of relief as he realised what she was saying. 'No, Tonks, that's not true at all!' he insisted.

'Please, Remus. I've noticed the way you look at me whenever I speak, humouring me, as though you think I'm a silly little girl. Well, I'm not. Look, I can even say V-Voldemort's name, now. See? _Voldemort!_' Her face was set with determination as she spoke.

Remus was thrown. He had not even noticed that she had avoided using the name before. Lots of Order members didn't say it.

'Tonks … I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't been … _looking _at you in any way.' He paused, trying to work out how to get out of this without telling her the truth. It was horrifying to realise that she had interpreted the combination of elation and embarrassment he felt whenever he saw her as disapproval. 'I think you're a wonderful witch. You're doing a great job so far. We really need you in the Order.'

'Honestly?' she looked up at him with wide eyes.

'Honestly.'

She smiled at him, relief clearly showing on her face. Her open expression and her need for reassurance made Remus wanted to pull her into his arms, but of course that was out of the question. He was full of guilt – he had no idea he had been making her paranoid like that.

Sirius appeared at the top of the basement stairs and Remus was suddenly embarrassed to be standing alone in the dark hall with Tonks.

'Oh – I was just going up to check on Harry … what are you two doing?' Sirius enquired, looking from Remus to Tonks.

'Er … same thing,' Remus replied, glancing guiltily at Tonks, who looked back at him curiously.

'Hey, what's that?' said Tonks suddenly 'Can you hear it? It sounds like someone crying,' Her nose crinkled adorably with the effort of listening intently. Remus listened too and he could indeed just make out the sound of someone sobbing upstairs.

'That's Molly,' he said, frowning, and headed for the stairs. A stumping behind him told him Mad-Eye was limping up the basement stairs.

'Looks like Molly's having some trouble with that Boggart,' Mad-Eye grunted at them when he appeared. 'She's been up there half an hour and I can still see it through the ceiling.'

Remus led the way up the stairs and found Harry standing in the doorway of the recently-decontaminated drawing room, staring dumbfounded at his own dead body on the floor. Molly was standing beside the body, tears streaming down her face, her wand held out limply.

Immediately realising what he was seeing, Remus got rid of the Boggart and moved towards Molly to comfort her. As Molly sobbed on his shoulder and he did his best to comfort her, though he had no idea what to say, he glanced up to see Sirius and Harry wearing identical, stunned faces. Mad-Eye was watching Harry suspiciously. Tonks was nowhere to be seen.

Molly's tears finally abated. Harry went off to bed, leaving Remus feeling guilty that he had not had a chance to talk to him. But right now Molly seemed to need him more.

'Come, on, Molly, let's go downstairs and have a cup of tea.'

As they left the drawing room, Remus caught sight of Tonks standing in the shadows at the top of the stairs, looking slightly shaken. As soon as Molly was settled back at the table downstairs with a hot cup of tea and looking cheerful again, Remus headed back out of the kitchen, feeling drained and in need of an early night. As he left the room he felt Tonks hovering at his shoulder again.

'Remus, that was … you were wonderful with Molly. You said just the right thing,' she whispered as they stood in the small space at the bottom of the stairs in semi-darkness.

'Well, I … er…'

Before he knew what was happening or had time to dodge it, Tonks had kissed him on the cheek. He stared at a spot on the floor, unable to look at her, feeling the heat creep into his face.

Tonks was quiet for a moment. When she spoke, her tone was quite different. 'It was horrible, seeing that Boggart looking like Harry was …' She broke off shakily.

'I know.' It _had _been horrible, but Remus was finding it hard to remember the feeling. His cheek was still tingling where she had kissed him.

'You were so calm.'

'Well, it wasn't real.'

'But, still …'

'Look, Tonks, I'm rather tired.' Remus did not mean to sound so short with her, but for a split second he could see in her eyes that she heard it in his tone.

'Oh, sorry … I'm sorry, Remus … I'll let you go to bed.'

'Tonks –'

'Goodnight, Remus!' she called, flashing a wide smile at him as she turned back to the kitchen. As he climbed the stairs to his bedroom, Remus could not decide whether she'd been hurt by his coldness, or whether it would never occur to Tonks be bothered by such a thing.


	8. A Common Bond

The radio was playing quietly in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place. Reaching the bottom of the basement stairs, Tonks was aware of someone singing softly and vaguely tunelessly along to the song. Remus was sitting at the table with his back to the door, a large book open in front of him. He didn't look round when she reached the door and Tonks smiled to herself. She was obviously getting better at this stealth thing.

'Evening, Remus!' she said loudly. Remus nearly fell off his chair.

'Hello, Tonks,' he greeted her, looking very flustered. It did not surprise Tonks that the conservative Remus was embarrassed at being caught singing. 'What are you doing here? There isn't a meeting tonight, is there?'

'I just came round to see Sirius before I go to work … isn't he here?'

'No, sorry, it's just me in at the moment. Sirius said he needed some fresh air and took Buckbeak out for a fly.' Remus smiled apologetically. 'Sorry, it looks like you've had a wasted trip, he might not be back for hours.'

Tonks nodded, disappointed.

'Oh, and keep it quiet, if you don't mind. He's really not supposed to leave the house – not that that stops him.' Remus shook his head with a slight eye-roll. 'He managed to talk me into Disillusioning him.'

'Of course, I won't say a word,' Tonks agreed. _Poor Sirius_.

Remus lifted a goblet from the table and sipped from it.

'Starting on the wine already, are you?' Tonks teased him before she could stop herself. _Oh no, I hope he doesn't take it seriously.  
_

'This?' Remus asked, holding up the goblet. For the first time Tonks noticed an odd, wispy gas swirling from it. 'It's Wolfsbane. Full moon tonight, unfortunately.' He drained the last few drops from the goblet and gave a slight shudder.

'Oh … sorry. What time do you … you know?'

'Not for a couple of hours yet, don't worry.'

'I wasn't worried, honestly!' she assured him hurriedly. 'I know that you – I mean, a werewolf – isn't dangerous if they've taken Wolfsbane.'

Remus nodded and smiled pleasantly at her, expectantly. Tonks guessed he was waiting for her to leave so he could get back to his singing.

Tonks sighed. 'Well, I suppose I'll just head to work early, then.'

'Fancy a cup of tea first?'

It was a vaguely better concept than an extra couple of hours catching up on paperwork. 'Go on, then,' she agreed.

After ten minutes she began to wish she had just left. Remus, probably tired and preoccupied due to the impending full moon, was even less talkative than usual and Tonks, shattered after last night's guard duty and then a long day doing other bits and pieces of Order work, did not have the energy to kick-start a conversation. She gulped her tea as fast as she could, scalded her tongue and choked, almost spraying Remus with tea. He glanced at her with alarm.

'You all right?'

'Fine,' she spluttered.

'Oh, Tonks, I've just remembered. Arthur asked me to give you another copy of this month's schedule of Order duties – he said you lost yours?'

Tonks hung her head in shame. 'I didn't lose it, I, er … accidentally set fire to it.' She remembered the ridiculous moment when she had been momentarily distracted and sent the schedule, along with a pile of important Ministry paperwork, soaring into her living room fire instead of the pile of old Daily Prophets she had meant to use as fuel.

Remus looked like he was trying very hard not to laugh. 'Right … well … at least it can't fall into the wrong hands, then. Though Kingsley's code would be hard to decipher.'

Indeed, Kingsley had cleverly come up with a set of euphemisms for the various duties the Order undertook. "Walking the dog" meant you would be standing guard over Harry Potter, while "Washing the dishes" meant attempting to recruit new members.

The only flaw was that Tonks found it rather difficult to remember what was what, and was terrified she'd turn up for guard duty in the Ministry ("Visiting Granny in hospital") when she was meant to be tailing Walden Macnair ("Babysitting Wally.")

They trudged upstairs to the first floor and while Remus went to fetch the schedule from his room, Tonks waited in the chilly drawing room, having no desire whatsoever to wait in his bedroom.

'Might take me a while to find it, sorry. Everything's a bit disorganised just now.'

As she waited, Tonks glanced around at the oddly furnished, dreary drawing room. A large, ornate silver mirror hung at one end, very expensive-looking but rather tarnished. After catching sight of her hair a couple of times, which was currently jet-black and shoulder length, she decided it was not quite bright enough for her liking and changed it to pale blonde. Tonks shook her head impatiently at the new image she saw of herself. It still didn't seem to reflect her mood. Feeling restless, and with no sign of Remus returning yet, she moved closer to the mirror and decided to play a game she often tried.

Eyes closed, she let herself relax, breathing deeply and slowly, trying to let her subconscious take over. It didn't take long before she felt as though she was floating through a blissful sea of calm, forgetting where she was, what day it was, almost forgetting _who _ she was. She just let her mind wander freely.

She opened her eyes and smiled. Her hair was now light brown. _That's interesting_, she thought curiously. _A bit plain, but interesting._

Then she noticed another face in the mirror and let out a small, strangled cry of shock.

'What on earth are you doing, Tonks?' A hint of amusement played on Remus's face.

'Oh …' She felt her cheeks heat up. 'I was just … trying something.'

'Your hair … is that how it is naturally?'

'Er … I suppose.' _Not exactly._ She glanced once more into the mirror and suddenly felt very conscious of how different she looked with such a sober hair colour. It was quite disconcerting and she immediately she concentrated very hard on picturing her hair pink. A moment later the mirror confirmed her change in appearance. Remus's face fell slightly. Perhaps he was offended by garish hair colours. Tonks was not particularly bothered.

'Well … here's the schedule,' he said, handing it to her.

'Thanks.'

Why did this feel so uncomfortable?

'Shall we go downstairs?' he asked, in such a formal tone that once again she felt a flash of inexplicable irritation with him. It was strange: they had seemed to get on so well when they first met, but now they just seemed to annoy each other. Nothing had happened to change things. Tonks couldn't explain it. He seemed more reserved with her than he had previously, as though he barely knew her, and this overly-polite demeanour of his grated on her nerves.

'Sure,' Tonks replied carelessly with a shrug.

'Is everything all right?' Remus asked, catching her off guard.

'Er, yeah. Fine.'

'When I came in just there … when you had your eyes closed and your appearance changed …' Remus began, his expression opening up a little. 'Did you mean it to change, or did it happen by itself?'

'Both … sort of,' she replied. He looked at her, waiting for to go on, expectant, but at the same time, patient. It was very calming. 'If I let my mind go completely blank, my appearance sometimes changes by itself. I think my subconscious changes it. So I don't always know what I'll look like afterwards. It's interesting to see what I come out looking like.'

'That's amazing!' he said earnestly. 'I thought a Metamorphmagus was always in control of their ability.'

'Well, generally I am. It's just … something I try now and then.'

'So what if you were, say, daydreaming – could your whole appearance change without you realising it?'

Tonks smiled. 'No, it's not that extreme. There might be a small change. Subtle. A different eye colour, or a darker skin tone. Maybe my nose'll change shape a little. It depends what I'm daydreaming about, to be honest! It's very, very rare for my subconscious to cause a large change without me noticing it, I can usually tell. But it's really annoying when I don't notice.'

'I can imagine,' said Remus sincerely, nodding.

Tonks suddenly felt very silly when realisation dawned. 'Of course you can, Remus. Sorry, I almost forgot that you know what it's like to change into something without being in control of it.'

'I wish _I _could forget,' he replied with a grimace that he quickly forced into a smile.

Tonks was quiet again as she thought about his condition and her ability. She would never have dreamt of comparing herself with a werewolf before, but suddenly she could see things they had in common.

They both began to speak at the same time. 'Do you ever feel like –'

Tonks giggled. 'Sorry, go on.'

'No, what were you saying?' Remus asked.

Tonks shook her head. 'You first.' She suddenly felt that what she had been going to say was a bit stupid.

'Does it ever feel as though you're not quite sure of your own identity?' he asked seriously.

With a sharp intake of breath, Tonks stared at him. 'Yes.'

'That's what you were going to ask too, wasn't it?' he asked intuitively. She nodded.

'If you can look whatever way you want to look …' he began.

'… does that mean nobody really knows who I am?' she finished for him. 'Yes, I've thought about that. Far too much, actually. But no one seems to really know what I'm talking about when I try to explain it.'

Remus nodded in empathy.

'_I _understand it. But you should know, Tonks, that to anyone who knows the real you, your appearance doesn't have any bearing on who you actually are. Even when you look different, you're still _you_ to us.'

'I just sometimes get lost in it, you know? It's hard to know what my real identity is if my appearance isn't a constant.'

'I suppose in that way we're quite similar,' Remus said, looking thoughtful. 'You don't know what your real appearance is, and I don't know whether my true self is the person I am for thirty days of the month, or whether it's what I am that one other night.'

'Yeah, but at least I can control mine most of the time. You don't really get much of a choice, do you?'

'No I suppose not … You know, I really do think it's fascinating that your appearance can change without you knowing it!' he said eagerly, looking very thoughtful.

'I'm glad I'm such an interesting subject matter,' she told him, grinning.

'Oh … Tonks, I'm sorry, that was most insensitive of me.'

'Don't be silly, Remus, I was kidding. I don't mind.'

'No, I should know better. I mean, I hate to talk about my condition. I should be more sensitive to other people's –'

'… conditions? I wouldn't exactly call mine a "condition". It's a good thing, it makes me "me".'

'Whereas _mine _ is …'

'It's part of you, too. You wouldn't be the same person without it.'

He gave a dry laugh that Tonks had never heard from him before, a laugh more like one Sirius would use. 'And what a shame that would be.'

'It would,' she replied simply. 'I wouldn't want you to be any different, and neither would anyone else.'

Remus looked thoughtful again. 'So … what about when you were a child, were you able to control your changes in appearance as you can now? Surely when you were _very _ young you couldn't?'

Tonks laughed. 'You're right, it was quite erratic back then, or so I'm told. When I was a toddler, and I was too young to understand any of it, I really didn't have any control over it. It drove my mum mad – whenever we were out, I would change how I looked and she wouldn't be able to find me! Apparently there was one time I wandered off in a park full of muggle children and she had to go and report me missing to the park keeper – he thought she was nuts when she said she didn't know what I looked like!'

Remus smiled at the story, but did not laugh. 'Your poor mother,' he said. 'It must have been difficult for her.'

'I suppose,' Tonks agreed slowly. 'I never really thought about it like that before. Gosh, that's quite selfish, isn't it? I can't believe it never occurred to me that it might have been tough on my parents.'

Remus shook his head. 'Tonks, you don't have a selfish bone in your body … no matter what form your body may take!'

She giggled. 'Thanks, Remus.'

'Well … the sun's going down. The moon will be up soon so I'd better go to my room.'

Tonks nodded, watching him thoughtfully as he stood up and carefully smoothed out the creases his robes.

'Remus …?'

'Yes?'

'Haven't you ever let anyone ever see you transform?'

'Of course people have seen. When I was younger and didn't have Wolfsbane it was unavoidable. My parents saw, and then my friends at school when they were in their Animagi forms.'

'But … have you ever _let _anyone see you transform? On purpose, I mean, with Wolfsbane? I mean, you're not dangerous, surely there's no harm in it?'

Remus looked very uncomfortable. 'No, I haven't. And I don't plan to.'

Something in his tone was very final and Tonks just said, 'Okay. See you in the morning.'

He nodded at her without smiling and left the room. Tonks suppressed a shudder as she remembered Remus's description of the pain of transforming and realised he would be going through it once again in the next couple of hours.

Walking into Auror Headquarters, Tonks found a rather tense atmosphere and her heart sank slightly. Three weeks ago Rufus Scrimgeour had hauled Tonks, followed by even the much more senior Kingsley, into his office for questioning about their recent behaviour, thinly disguised as a "Performance Review": Scrimgeour had noticed them talking much more than normal with people outside of their department and had even intercepted a couple of inter-Ministry Owls between the Order members who worked throughout the Ministry of Magic. Scrimgeour had not actually made any accusations, but it was clear he knew something was not quite right. Since then, Tonks and Kingsley had barely spoken to each other at work unless it was strictly business, and had avoided contact with Arthur or any other Order members.

Despite the embargo on Order communication at work, Tonks was slightly comforted to see that Kingsley had not left yet. He was looking extremely grave as he conversed with Rufus Scrimgeour, and from the snatches Tonks heard it sounded like they were disagreeing about something. Tonks heard the name Sirius Black and smiled to herself at how well Kingsley was doing at directing the search for Sirius to completely the wrong places. She wondered what the pair were arguing about, but knew she would have to wait to find out. She had no valid reason to ask Kingsley about it at work without raising even more suspicion

In fact, Tonks did not even dare acknowledge Kingsley with any more than a slight nod, which was very frustrating. He was her only ally in the Auror office, and she was beginning to feel she needed one. It was starting to feel like work was a series of mere formalities, chasing wizards who had done next to nothing compared to Voldemort. And yet they were all just sitting there, ignoring the one wizard who could cause unimaginable destruction. It made Tonks want to scream, and she often needed reminding by Kingsley to keep a cool head and act normally at work.

During the night as Tonks worked, her thoughts kept straying to Remus, in his werewolf form, holed up in his room. _He must be so lonely like that_. She tried to imagine what it would be like being in the room with him. He would still have his own mind so of course he would recognise her, but would he be able to understand her? Probably, although he couldn't actually _talk _ to her. It was fascinating. Tonks was dying to ask him more about it, but he seemed very reluctant to talk about it, and she couldn't blame him.

During her shift, Tonks and a fellow Auror, Dawlish, spent most of the night trying to locate a group of wizards who had attracted the Aurors' attention with a series of horrific attacks on muggles. The ringleader was Francis Henderson, whom the Ministry had been after for weeks.

After several hours holed up in Headquarters poring over enough information about them to make Tonks sleepy, they finally headed north to Scotland to try and locate the gang. This was the part of her job Tonks liked best. Stuck in the office, she was often bored and restless, having too much time to think. Out in the field, which was how she had always imagined an Auror's job would be, was ideal. Dawlish and Tonks captured three wizards that night with little difficulty. They were relative amateurs, easily apprehended, the only downside being that their much more cunning ringleader, Henderson, had eluded capture once again.

Several days and not enough sleep later, Tonks arrived at Grimmauld Place for an Order meeting and was amazed to find for once she was one of the first people in the kitchen. Molly and Arthur were whispering together at the kitchen table and Tonks, reluctant to disturb them, glanced around for someone to speak to. Her eyes alighted on Remus, but he was busy talking to Hestia Jones. Tonks sighed impatiently, dropped into a seat and drummed her fingers on the table, feeling restless. In a strange way, the less sleep she'd had, the more nervous energy she seemed to have to burn.

The room began to fill up and Tonks was not bored for long.

'It's like drawing blood from a stone,' Hestia muttered out of a corner of her mouth as she slumped into the seat next to Tonks a few minutes later.

'Sorry?' said Tonks.

'Talking to that man,' Hestia elaborated, rolling her eyes. She clocked Tonks's confused look. 'Remus. He's really hard to talk to, isn't he?'

Tonks stared at her blankly. '_Remus? _ Do you really think so?'

'Yes! I mean, it's fine if it's about Order work or something, he just tells you what you need to know. But I asked him about his family – just making conversation, you know – and as soon as you touch on anything personal he just … shuts down.'

'Don't be daft. Remus and I chat all the time and he's always fine with me,' said Tonks dismissively.

Hestia shook her head doubtfully. 'Well, I suppose it's just me then, maybe he doesn't like me.'

'No, no, I'm sure he does …' Tonks assured her, trailing off half-heartedly.

She glanced up and watched as Kingsley Shacklebolt entered the kitchen and immediately walked purposefully toward Remus. Kingsley's booming voice carried across the kitchen and she heard him asking Remus what nights he was unavailable for Order duties next month so that he could make up October's schedule. Tonks listened as Kingsley pressed Remus for details about how his transformation affected his energy, and she took in Remus's body language. He crossed his arms, barely made eye contact with Kingsley and was obviously trying to evade the conversation.

Tonks gave Hestia a side-long glance. Maybe she was right. Maybe Remus did not open up to many people. Tonks smiled to herself, glad he saw her as a friend. _At least someone does_. Sirius had just entered the kitchen and barely acknowledged Tonks as he sat down.

Remus, his manner calming enough to make everyone at the meeting feel at ease, addressed the group.

'Our first order of business – Sturgis Podmore's arrest. He has been, in effect, our first casualty of this war.'

Those were frightening words. _Casualty._ It made it sound as though he had been killed.

'What we need to do is work out exactly how it happened: how did Voldemort –' a shiver went around the room at the name, though Tonks felt a small swell of pride that she, too, could now say it, '– get at Podmore to Imperius him? Was it a Death Eater? Maybe someone who works in the Ministry?'

'But who?' said Arthur. 'We've been watching everyone we know about.'

'I'm more concerned with how the person managed to overcome Sturgis,' said Sirius. 'He's a good wizard, he should have seen it coming, had some kind of warning. Why was there not even a sign of a struggle?'

Severus Snape, wearing his typical sneer and as usual speaking only when necessary, interrupted.

'If I may add, Black, that we don't know for certain that Podmore was not acting of his own accord.'

'Sturgis would never turn on the Order,' Sirius argued, and several people nodded in agreement.

'Perhaps. But we cannot exclude the possibility,' said Snape coolly. Sirius bristled. Tonks flinched, waiting for yet another argument to erupt between the pair.

Remus intervened. 'We don't know the facts. We know Sturgis was on duty, we know he had Moody's invisibility cloak, but that's about all we know. There's no point in second-guessing. We all just have to be much more careful.'

'Indeed,' Snape agreed, his lip curling. 'Podmore is not the only one who has had a recent close shave, is he, Lupin?'

If Remus was phased by Snape's comment he did not show it, much to Tonks's admiration, and the discussion continued with no further friction.

'Are you working or on duty tomorrow night?' Hestia asked Tonks after the meeting. Tonks shook her head.

'Let's go for a drink again. We can get Bill and Fleur to come along too,' Hestia suggested, then made a slight face. 'On second thoughts, preferably _not_ Fleur.'

Tonks giggled. 'Sure. And don't worry, Fleur's in France visiting her family.'

Hestia smiled with relief. 'Great! We can get lovely Bill all to ourselves then!'

Tonks grimaced. 'You're joking aren't you?' _Lovely Bill?_

'Come on, are you telling me you don't find Bill remotely attractive?'

'Nope.'

'Wow. Are you human?'

Tonks chose to ignore this.

'I'm sure Andrew will really appreciate you drooling over Bill all night, Hestia.'

'Nah, he's not coming this time. He's still recovering from his last night out with us magic folk. There's only so much of our world he can handle.'

Tonks rushed straight from work on to meet Bill and Hestia in The Spotted Kneazle, a small, lesser-known pub in Diagon Alley that was more popular with young witches and wizards than the Leaky Cauldron. Tonks had guiltily invited Remus along too, much to Hestia's consternation. Tonks was still confused as to whether Remus had actually wanted to come with them last time, or whether he had frowned upon them going at all; but this time, anyway, he had declined and looked very unwilling to even consider it. Tonks was worried he suspected she was inviting him out of pity, though she had to admit that was partly true. Although she enjoyed his company, it was very difficult to imagine him sitting in the pub with them and joining in the loud, raucous conversation.

Last to arrive as usual, Tonks saw the pair already sitting with half-finished drinks. _Lucky sods with their nine-to-five jobs_, she thought, though she didn't mean it. Tonks knew she could never keep to anything as dull as a nine-to-five schedule. Where was the excitement in that?

She waved and made her way over to the table, reminding herself not to succumb to any of Hestia's ideas of Firewhisky this time.

As Tonks rummaged in her robes for her wallet, a folded piece of parchment fell onto the floor. Bill picked it up for her.

'What's this?' he asked.

'Oh, I forgot all about that! It was delivered this morning just as I was running out the door to work …'

She tore the parchment open and skimmed over the small, neat handwriting. It was from Ginny Weasley.

'It's a letter from your sister,' Tonks explained happily. 'She asked the new Quidditch captain, Angelina, if she can be a reserve. Angelina said she's seen Ginny flying and been really impressed and might use her as a reserve Seeker! Isn't that great?'

'Well, well … looks like my little sister could give Charlie a run for his money at being the best Weasley at Quidditch!' Bill grinned. 'And I know it was you that encouraged her, Tonks – good on you.'

'Thanks,' Tonks said proudly. 'Have you seen her play much, is she any good?'

'Please don't descend into Quidditch talk again, you two,' Hestia complained. 'It was bad enough the other night at Ron and Hermione's party.'

Bill grinned at Tonks then said 'Okay, Hestia, fair enough!'

'Are you _sure _you don't fancy Bill?' Hestia interrogated her when Bill went to the bar, prompting a loud groan from Tonks. 'It's just that you get on so well, you never run out of things to talk about. I bet if it wasn't for Fleur ...'

'If it wasn't for Fleur, what?' Tonks sighed impatiently.

Hestia's suggestive look said it all.

'We just have a lot in common, that's all. We're mates. It doesn't mean I _fancy _him, Hestia. Get your mind out of the gutter!'

Hestia did not look convinced, but Tonks had never been more sure in her life. Bill was just not like that in her head. She barely saw him as male. Which, now that she thought about it, was maybe a little odd. Normally if she got on with a guy that well she could almost begin to imagine a spark between them, even if she hadn't fancied him to begin with. But with Bill … absolutely nothing._ I've just got too much going on just now to think about men_, she decided.

Early on Saturday morning Tonks finished work and considered her options. She could go home. But there was an Order meeting in … well, actually it was hours away. But even if there was nobody at Grimmauld Place just now, she would rather be there, in the nice warm kitchen, than at home. Molly might be there, though she was often too busy for a chat. And Sirius was always around. Maybe he'd be in a cheerful mood.

Tonks let herself into the house and found Sirius reading the Daily Prophet at the kitchen table, surrounded by a couple of dirty plates and several empty mugs that looked like they'd been there a few days.

'Hi, Sirius,' Tonks said brightly.

'All right,' he greeted her, his eyes momentarily flicking up from the paper.

'Remus not here?'

'Nah, he's still out doing something for the Order. He'll be back in a little while. Why?'

'No reason.' Tonks sighed. She had recently realised it was much easier to spend time with Sirius when Remus was in the room, too. She almost couldn't be bothered now if he wasn't here.

'What are you reading about?' she persisted.

Sirius tossed the paper aside. 'Nothing much, most of it's crap,' he said, looking very bored.

Tonks racked her brains for something to talk about. 'Heard from Harry lately?' she asked.

'Not yet, but he's only been back at school a week,' Sirius replied. He got up to make more tea.

'I suppose – he can't have got into any trouble that quickly!' Tonks joked, and Sirius raised his eyebrows.

'Oh, I think James and I could have managed it. I think our record for getting detention was, oh … seven minutes after we walked into the castle.' Tonks laughed, waiting to hear the story, but Sirius's momentary smile faded quickly and he didn't say any more.

Sighing, Tonks lazily pulled the Daily Prophet towards her, flipping through it absently. She hesitated at an advert for a sale at Madam Malkin's … she could really do with some new robes, though finding time to get them fitted could prove slightly –

'Shit! Have you seen this?' Tonks exclaimed. Sirius looked round questioningly. 'It's about you, Sirius – you've been seen here in London!'

Sirius was by her side in a flash, poring over the small article. He rubbed his pale face anxiously.

'Shit. Dumbledore's not going to be happy,' he muttered.

'Can I do anything?' Tonks asked, though it was a pointless question. It suddenly occurred to her that this must be the reason Kingsley was arguing with Scrimgeour: Kingsley's false information had clearly been contradicted.

Sirius shook his head. 'I'm not sure which is worse: the Ministry knowing I'm in London, or what Dumbledore will say,' he said, sinking into a seat with a huge sigh.

'Well, maybe it won't come to anything. The Ministry can't get to you in this house, and Dumbledore's still preoccupied with what happened to Podmore, isn't he?' Tonks tried to reassure him.

Sirius shook his head again and gave her a condescending look. 'If you think that would mean Dumbledore missing something like this, you really don't know the man, Tonks.'

She felt her cheeks colour. 'Yeah, I suppose.'

In fact, now that she thought about it, she suspected that Dumbledore had heard about it long before them.

'Oh, hello, Tonks,' came a tired but nevertheless cheery voice. Arthur Weasley walked into the kitchen. Sirius glanced meaningfully at the newspaper and shook his head slightly at Tonks: clearly he did not want Arthur to hear about the article.

'Sirius, an owl's just brought this for you.' Arthur handed Sirius a folded square of parchment and Sirius's face lit up immeasurably as he tore it open.

'I'm off to work for a while, see you later,' called Arthur as he left the basement again, and Tonks felt bad for him – she knew he'd been on duty in the Ministry all night.

'Who's the letter from?' Tonks asked. Sirius did not answer for a while, and as he read the letter his brow became more and more furrowed.

'It's from Harry. 'Scuse me, Tonks, I've got to go,' Sirius said abruptly, and left Tonks sitting alone in the kitchen feeling very neglected.

Even when Sirius didn't come back downstairs, Tonks couldn't bring herself to go home. She stayed in the warm, cosy kitchen for a couple of hours, drinking tea and sleepily reading the Daily Prophet. She felt as though she was waiting for something, though she wasn't sure what. It seemed perfectly clear that Sirius had forgotten about her.

A clattering of footsteps on the stairs wakened her up a little and she looked up, expecting Sirius. Instead, Remus walked in. Tonks felt a flicker of what she decided must be disappointment in her stomach.

Remus smiled warmly at her. 'Here again, are you?' he greeted her, and Tonks was indignant.

'Yeah, is that a problem?'

'Of course not! You're welcome here any time, Tonks.' He removed his threadbare cloak to reveal his usual shabby robes and reached for the kettle.

Tonks snorted. 'Shame you're the only person who thinks that.'

'What's the matter? You sound a bit tense,' Remus commented as he searched for a clean mug.

'Nothing, really. I just came round to see Sirius and as usual he couldn't be bothered with me.' Tonks knew she sounded very sorry for herself, but Remus always had a sympathetic ear for her. 'He rushed off ages ago when he got a letter from Harry and never came back.'

Remus turned from the kettle, looking surprisingly indifferent. 'And you've just been waiting here for him to come back?'

Tonks was uncomfortable. 'Yeah, I suppose.'

'Tonks …' Remus looked slightly exasperated.

'What?' she asked irritably.

'Don't you think you're putting a little too much effort into this? He just needs time to get used to you.'

She exhaled loudly. 'I don't see that making any difference. He just doesn't like me.'

'Of course he does! What makes you say that?'

'He just … he just won't open up to me. I'm trying so hard but I just get nothing in return.'

'Look, Tonks, can I say something?' He sat down in front of her and looked troubled. 'I understand why you're upset, but I just don't see why you're so intent on getting close to Sirius.'

'Because we're family! Family is important!' Tonks insisted. How could Remus not understand that?

'Well, all right. But family isn't the only thing.'

'What are you talking about?'

'Well … there's friendship … and things.'

'Yeah, so?' She fiddled moodily with the newspaper.

'Well, I'm just meaning … why try so hard with Sirius when there are plenty of other people who … you know … want to have you as a friend.'

Tonks looked up at him. 'You're a little strange, Remus, you do know that?'

He sighed. 'Yes.'


	9. A Misson Together

'Voldemort is planning something.'

Dumbledore's tone said it all. The mere fact that he had turned up for the meeting, after telling them that he wouldn't be able to attend, signified at once that there must be a serious new development.

Murmurs rippled round the kitchen. Remus glanced up quickly and, instinct making him automatically search out her reaction, he caught Tonks's eye and they shared an expression of worry before Remus looked away, embarrassed.

'I believe he is going to act soon. This week, in fact,' Dumbledore continued.

'What are you saying, Albus? That You-Know-Who is going to show himself?' said Molly very fearfully.

'No. He'll act through his Death Eaters, surely,' Arthur corrected her, and Dumbledore nodded at him.

'Let me explain everything I know. First of all, Voldemort is certainly aware the Order has reformed and that we are working against him,' Dumbledore stated, reiterating what they already knew. 'He will also know that we're attempting to tail the Death Eaters we know about. Now, that may not sound ideal. Indeed, one might wonder what we can hope to achieve by spying on someone who knows they are being spied on! However, I am satisfied that, for the most part, he has been unaware of our presence. He cannot not know exactly who we are tailing at what time, and thanks to the very good work you have all been doing, I think we have managed to fool him to some extent.'

No one looked particularly encouraged by this.

'By putting together everything the Order has overheard recently, I have come to the conclusion that this Friday is the night he is going to put his plan into action.'

'Which is …?' Arthur prompted.

Dumbledore carried on. 'Which is, as many of you will have guessed –' Remus glanced up sharply, not knowing what he was suppose to have guessed, but glad to see his was not the only blank expression among the group, '– to break into the Department of Mysteries.'

Snape was nodding slowly in recognition of this, as were Tonks and Kingsley. Remus shuddered, hating being ill-informed. How did they know and not him?

'What is it they want in the Department of Mysteries?' Bill asked, frowning.

'At this stage I cannot tell you,' Dumbledore informed them, and a few groans of frustration escaped. 'But it is something for which Voldemort has been looking for a very long time.'

'Since You-Know-Who knows we're tailing them, what if this is a trap?' asked Arthur. 'I mean, if he knew we were likely to hear the conversation …'

'But if Voldemort knows that we know that he knows we're tailing them, then wouldn't he _expect_ us to think it's a trap?' Tonks pointed out very earnestly. 'Maybe that's the _real_ trap – if he deliberately let us overhear the plan then he's hoping we won't take it seriously?'

'Oh come on, we could go on like that forever – he knows that we know he knows, et cetera, et cetera,' Bill interrupted.

'My head's going to explode,' moaned Hestia Jones. A couple of people chuckled half-heartedly, but for the most part everyone was too anxious to laugh.

Dumbledore, who had been the first to chuckle at Hestia's comment, looked deadly serious again. 'We can second-guess until we're blue in the face. I am quite sure Voldemort knows we have overheard this plan. Regardless, I have decided to act.'

Sirius spoke up for the first time, aiming a very dirty look in Severus Snape's direction. 'And is there any particular reason why you don't want to share Voldemort's true intention with us, Snape? Or do you just find it amusing to watch us guess?'

'Sirius …' Remus said warningly, although his stomach was squirming in anticipation of Snape's answer. He wondered why he always felt the need to discourage Sirius's attacks on Snape even when he was tempted to agree with what Sirius was implying. Something in him had always made him moderate the behaviour of his friends.

Snape looked ready to argue, though seemed to be taking his careful time over the response, when Dumbledore spoke for him.

'Severus has given me all the information he has that pertains to this event.'

Sirius gave a scoffing laugh. 'All the information he has,' he repeated in a muttered tone, shaking his head.

Dumbledore gave Sirius a fleeting, stern glance, before continuing. 'Severus has informed me that after retrieving the object they want from the Ministry, the Death Eaters will take it directly to Voldemort himself. This could be our best opportunity yet to discover where Voldemort is hiding.'

'Do you still think he's in the house that Remus discovered?' Tonks asked. Just hearing her say his name made Remus's neck feel hot.

'Yes, that is a likely option, although not the only one,' Dumbledore confirmed.

'I don't see why _Severus_ cannot just tell us where Voldemort is,' Sirius interrupted savagely.

Snape gave Sirius the most despicable look Remus had seen from him since their school days. 'You know perfectly well, Black, that the Dark Lord's whereabouts, along with the details of his plans, are protected by powerful, complex magic. I can no more give away his secrets than I can the location of this Headquarters.'

Snape spoke calmly, though his complexion was tinged with a faint redness and Remus thought he detected a slight nervous tick in his cheek. If it was not for the fact that Remus loathed the man, he might almost have felt sorry for Snape, being placed under such scrutiny and suspicion.

'Quite, quite, Severus. I'm sure everyone here understands the limitations of your position,' said Dumbledore soothingly. 'And with the information you have provided, I am confident that if we act swiftly and cautiously we can prevent Voldemort's actions being carried out with any success.'

'What do you propose we do, Albus?' asked Arthur.

'From what we've heard, it seems there are three parts to his plan. Firstly, a meeting between Nott and a Ministry employee who is going to give them the information they need to successfully break in. Once this information has been passed along, a different set of Death Eaters will go to the Ministry. Finally, once they have retrieved what they need from the Department of Mysteries, it will be taken immediately to Voldemort.'

Slightly stunned, they all waited to hear more.

'On Friday night we will all work together to follow the Death Eaters we know are involved and to guard every possible entry route to the Ministry,' Dumbledore told them. 'We will have people stationed at various points of interest, ready to follow Death Eaters to Voldemort's hiding place.'

Dumbledore began issuing instructions to each Order member in turn. When Remus was finally addressed, he listened carefully.

'Walden Macnair is going to go to Nott's house after Macnair finishes work at eight o'clock. Macnair will pass on information he has gained in his employment at the Ministry. The security measures protecting the Department of Mysteries change daily, and Macnair appears to have found a weakness in their security methods on Fridays that will allow him to find out and pass on the details to his fellow Death Eaters. Remus, as you've been tailing Nott recently and know his usual patterns, I'd like you to take that post. Emmeline will be stationed at the Ministry of Magic along with Elphias, and they will let you know when Macnair is on his way so that you can be ready to find out what they know.'

Remus nodded, swallowing hard.

'I'd like one of our Aurors to be stationed at Nott's house as well. They have a little more idea what they'll be up against and we may need their superior duelling capability. Kingsley, Alastor, Nymphadora, can any of you mange it?'

'I don't think I can get away from work until later that night,' said Kingsley regretfully.

'I'll do it,' Tonks spoke up immediately. Her face was set, though slightly paler than usual.

'Fine.' Dumbledore wore a grave expression. He looked older and more tired than Remus had ever seen him.

'Of course, the other point we have to consider is that if Voldemort intended us to hear of this plan, it could be a decoy for his real intention,' Remus pointed out. Dumbledore nodded.

'Indeed, Remus. My next point. In case this whole plan is a decoy, some of you will be tracking the rest of the Death Eaters to make sure they are not involved in something we don't know about. Everyone will need to be on full alert from now until Friday night. Every Death Eater we know of must be covered by an Order member, and anything suspicious, no matter how slight, must be taken very seriously. Are we all clear?'

Everybody nodded. Nobody spoke. A collective sigh went around the room minutes later when Dumbledore left. It was the biggest Order mission since they had reformed in June, and it was terrifying. Remus looked up from his heavy contemplation to see Tonks chatting to Bill and Hestia. She was smiling. Giggling, even. How could she be laughing when they had this in front of them? Remus was reminded again of the difference in their age. In fact, not only their age, but their whole outlook. His whole life revolved around the Order, but sometimes it seemed almost as though Tonks saw it as a hobby.

The following evening, when their next meeting was due to start, the kitchen was filling up but somehow still sounded empty. Unlike the usual few minutes before meetings, when everyone clattered around, finding seats and chatting, today it was tense and silent. People filed in like zombies and silently dropped into chairs, looking pale and anxious. Most of them had picked up extra shifts tailing Death Eaters during the previous twenty-four hours, trying to find more information about Friday.

Then the sound of voices and laughter reached the kitchen, jarring the silence and sounding completely alien. Tonks and Kingsley appeared together. Tonks was wheezing with laughter and even the normally solemn Kingsley was chuckling quietly.

'What's so funny?' Molly enquired with great interest.

'Kingsley and I … we'd just finished our Order duty this evening and we were walking through the city centre when we bumped into our secretary from the Auror office. I think – I think she –' Tonks doubled over in hysterics and Kingsley finished for her.

'I think she might have got the wrong idea about why we were together outside of work.'

Several people chuckled.

'But she didn't suspect you of doing anything for Dumbledore, did she?' asked Remus with great concern.

Kingsley shook his head and his look of amusement annoyed Remus immensely.

'Luckily the only thing she suspects is that we're having an affair – she's not too bright, that Rose,' Tonks finally managed, still hiccupping with suppressed giggles. 'She knows every piece of gossip about everyone, yeah, but she isn't too bright.'

'Well, I suppose that's one way to explain yourselves out of trouble,' Arthur said with a barely suppressed grin.

'So what now – will you have to start acting like a couple so that she doesn't get suspicious?' asked Molly anxiously.

'Don't be silly,' Remus found himself saying before he could help it. 'This Rose girl obviously doesn't have a clue about the Order. I think it would only draw _more_ attention to what Tonks and Kingsley are doing if they try to keep up some pretence of being … involved.' He cringed.

A moment of silence followed in which Remus began to panic. If he was the only person thinking that then it might look strange … suspicious, even.

'You're right, Remus, of course you are,' said Tonks. She choked back a final giggle and her expression was finally serious.

'Quite right, yes,' Arthur agreed.

'But thanks for brightening up the evening,' Bill said mischievously to Tonks. 'I think we could all have used a laugh.'

Tonks hit him playfully on the arm.

An hour later and Remus's brain was beginning to melt. Parchments were spread over the entire table and even spilling onto the floor. Complex charts and diagrams detailing where everyone needed to be on Friday, plans of the Ministry itself, lists of every possible entry method the Death Eaters could use, and much, much more were papering the room and circling hopelessly in Remus's head. Just when he thought he couldn't take any more, Arthur stood up, stretched, and suggested they call it a night. Everyone else sighed with relief, though Remus tried not to look too eager to finish their work.

The meeting officially over, everyone's tiredness and anxiousness suddenly turned to lively chattering, exhaustion fuelling an unnatural burst of nervous energy.

Tonks was leaning causally against the wall just outside the kitchen door, wearing an amused expression while Hestia spoke animatedly to her in a low voice. Against his better judgment, knowing it was sneaky and underhand, Remus found himself straining to hear their conversation.

'So you've never thought about it? You know … you and Kingsley?' Remus managed to hear Hestia saying quietly. She gave Tonks a teasing glance.

'You're kidding, aren't you? He's _far_ too old!' Tonks exclaimed, with a laugh and what looked like a shudder.

Remus remembered that Kingsley was only two years older than himself.

'I see … saving yourself for Bill, then,' Hestia continued. Remus felt as though a block of ice had just dropped into his stomach.

'Will you please drop it?' Tonks hissed at her, glancing around warily. Remus concentrated very hard on not looking in their direction.

_So Tonks has feelings for Bill. Even Hestia knows. What's Tonks playing at, going around telling people? Bill has a girlfriend, after all._ Remus directed a look of annoyance at Tonks, though she was not even looking at him. He was not annoyed because he was jealous, of course. Just annoyed that Tonks would be silly enough to have feelings for someone who had a girlfriend, and worse, that she was silly enough to be going around broadcasting it. She was only going to get hurt that way. _That_ was why Remus was annoyed.

He looked up to find Sirius giving him a very curious look, and decided to avoid questioning by going off to bed.

Friday evening rushed to meet Remus with alarming speed and before he knew it, the night the Order were grimly preparing for was here. As he headed to meet Tonks in the centre of London, a feeling of nervousness grew in his chest and he suspected it was not entirely due to the mission they were about to undertake.

Tonks was waiting for him at the agreed corner, just down from the Leaky Cauldron. Even though she looked different from normal – her hair was jet black today, falling in soft waves to her shoulders – Remus knew immediately that it was her. There was something in the way she held herself that Remus would have recognised a mile off.

'Hello,' she greeted him. She looked pleased to see him, which made his stomach squirm, although she looked less cheerful than usual.

'All set?' he asked. Tonks nodded tensely, biting her lip. Her eyes had dark circles under them that stood out against her pale complexion. Remus wondered why she didn't just alter her appearance to cover them. He certainly had things he would cover up if he had the ability. His hand went automatically to face, rubbing the faded scar on his jaw that people told him was barely visible, but to him felt very conspicuous.

'You all right?' Tonks asked him, staring at him quizzically in a way that made him a bit uncomfortable, as if she knew what he was thinking. He nodded.

'Why do you look so comfortable in Muggle clothing and I feel so silly?' Remus immediately felt very daft for voicing that thought. Tonks was dressed in muggle trousers of a thick, rough fabric that Remus knew was called denim, and an enormous knitted jumper. She looked adorable. Remus immediately kicked himself for thinking that way. _Focus, Remus._ But the truth was, compared to how awkward he felt dressed this way, Tonks looked completely at home in Muggle clothing.

Tonks eyed his plain trousers and sweatshirt. 'You look fine to me. Perfectly normal Muggle clothing. You fit right in.'

'Well, thanks … I think.' Remus became aware of a group of unsavoury-looking Muggle youths loitering outside an off-licence across the road from them, dressed in similar attire to Remus.

'Let's go,' he said quickly.

They Apparated from a quiet spot in a nearby side street and materialised a short distance away from Nott's house in East London. The road they were now in was narrow, dark and strewn with litter. On one side of them were small terraced houses of grey stone, many with boarded-up windows. The tiny gardens in front of each house were overgrown with weeds, and the few fences that were not broken sported peeling paint and graffiti. The other side of the road comprised a series of shabby shops, an off-licence and a bookmaker's.

'Nice street,' Tonks commented with a note of sarcasm.

Remus gestured further down the row of run-down houses. 'It's just along here. We should probably Disillusion ourselves now before we get any closer.'

'Speak for yourself,' Tonks told him. She tapped him once on the head with her wand and Remus felt the familiar, cold sensation spreading through him. A second later, Tonks had disappeared too, without even using her wand.

'Very clever,' Remus told her, smiling even though he knew she couldn't see it.

'Thanks,' came her voice eerily from nowhere. 'Right, show me which house is Nott's.'

'This way,' Remus told her, lifting his arm to point before remembering she couldn't see him. 'Er, this way.' He reached out a hand gingerly, found her arm, and gently guided her in the right direction.

As they made their way down the road, they continually brushed against each other due to the fact they couldn't see each other. After a couple of minutes Remus stopped, catching hold of Tonks's arm again to stop her too.

'This is it,' he whispered. 'The one with the broken white gate and the blue front door.

'So now we just have to wait until we hear from Emmeline and Elphias,' said Tonks. 'It shouldn't be too long, should it? Macnair was due to finish his shift at the Ministry at eight, and it's five to just now.'

They sat on a low wall outside Nott's house and waited. For the most part they were silent. Every now and then Remus glanced to where he knew Tonks was sitting, though he couldn't see her. The only clue he had that she was still there was the occasional rustle of her robes when she moved, or the tiny sighs she gave now and then.

'I wonder what's keeping them, it's been ages,' Tonks commented after a long while. Remus checked his watch and saw that it was over an hour past the time he had expected word from Emmeline that Macnair was on his way. They shared a nervous sigh.

'You don't think …' Remus said slowly. He didn't want to voice what he thought.

'No,' said Tonks firmly. 'They're fine.'

Another long while passed. Anxiety grew in Remus's mind, and he could sense Tonks felt it too: the tell-tale rustles were growing more frequent and he could picture the way she always fidgeted during tense moments, crossing and uncrossing her arms and tapping her feet.

'Look,' Tonks breathed suddenly, startling him out of a slight daze. Floating on Tonks's other side was Emmeline's Patronus: a proud-looking silvery lioness.

'There seems to be some sort of delay,' came Emmeline's voice. 'Macnair has not left the Ministry yet and so it could be a while yet before he gets to you. Or else it's possible that the meeting was never meant to take place and it is all a decoy. It's up to you whether you keep waiting there or return to Headquarters until we know what's happening. I will send word the moment I know more.'

'No way!' Tonks burst out. She suddenly became visible in front of him, and looked furious. 'We've come all the way out here, waited for an hour and a half in the freezing cold, and now we have to go back? You've got to be kidding! '

Her outburst shocked Remus. He had never known her to be anything less than eager to do her job.

'Is that what you think we should do – go back?' Remus asked, removing the Disillusionment Charm from himself.

Tonks made a face and shook her head. 'If I go home I'll probably end up falling asleep.'

'Well … I suppose we'd better find somewhere to wait. It could be a while and I don't know about you but I'm freezing.'

'Let's go and get a coffee over there while we wait,' Tonks suggested, pointing at the only lit-up window across the road.

'But it's full of Muggles,' Remus pointed out dubiously as he gazed through the dirty café window. 'And I somehow doubt they take Galleons.'

'So? We're dressed in Muggle clothing, and I always carry a little Muggle money, just in case. It'll be fine, come on.' And she led the way across to the dingy but brightly lit coffee shop.'

Remus looked around warily as they pushed through the door.

'If I'm going to stay awake for yet another night then I'm going to need a vat of caffeine,' Tonks complained as a plump waitress wearing a filthy apron and a moody expression approached. 'Two enormous coffees, please.'

'Decaf for me, please,' Remus added politely to the waitress. He was jittery enough already.

Tonks rolled her eyes. 'One decaf, one extra strong,' she told the waitress.

Once they were seated with two large steaming mugs of coffee, Tonks looked a little embarrassed and apologised to him.

'Sorry for that little tantrum,' she said with a roll of her eyes. 'I had a pretty tough day and I was on duty the night before and, well, I'm just knackered.'

'What happened today?'

'Just Scrimgeour and Fudge, all that lot. It's getting really hard to keep up the pretence of believing what Fudge says about You-Know-Who.'

Remus nodded.

'God, this music is awful,' Tonks commented. Behind the low chatter and bustle of the café was the faint sound of a crackly muggle radio station playing an old song Remus did not know, but it stirred a memory.

'It reminds me a bit of the music my sister used to listen to. Oh, who was that wizard singer she loved …?' Remus thought back, trying to remember the name.

'What did he sing? Maybe I'll know him,' Tonks asked brightly, looking revived after a few gulps of coffee.

'He was a bit before your time. You probably haven't heard of him. Er, Joseph something …'

'Joseph Cassie? You're kidding! My parents were completely obsessed with him!'

'Really?' Remus asked, laughing.

'Yeah! They even named my brother after him: Joseph Tonks!'

'Oh? I thought you were an only child,' Remus commented, though he realised he had no idea about it, other than the fact that she had never mentioned a sibling.

'I had a little brother. He died,' she replied lightly, taking a long sip from her mug.

'Oh, I'm so sorry, Tonks, that must have been awful. What happened to him?'

She set down her coffee carefully and seemed to take her time before answering. 'He was born with some kind of muggle illness. Magic couldn't cure it, nothing could. It was a genetic thing my dad carried. I don't really know much about it, I was really young. He only … he only survived for a few months.' Tonks drew in a deep breath and gave Remus a smile that was slightly too wide.

'I'm … I'm sorry. It must have been horrible for you.'

Tonks made a face and shrugged. 'I was only about two when he was born. I don't really remember him.'

'Really? Not even a little?'

Tonks screwed up her face. 'I'm not sure. I've heard so many stories about it that sometimes I think I am remembering something … seeing my mother's face when she was telling me he was ill, or hearing him cry, you know? But I think it's just that I've heard so much about him from my family that I've made up the memory. Do you ever feel like that?'

Remus laughed. 'Yes, I know exactly what you mean. I've been told so many times about the time my older sister split my head open that I feel like I can remember the pain, but of course I know I couldn't possibly. I was far too young!'

Tonks giggled. 'She really split your head open?'

'Yes! She accidentally hit me with a curse when she was playing with our father's wand. She was only about seven, though, she didn't know what she was doing. I still have a scar, look.' Remus pushed back his hair to show Tonks the tiny mark on his temple. She leaned in very close to examine it and Remus found himself holding his breath until she moved away again.

'Wow … that must have hurt! What a bitch! No wonder you never talk about her,' said Tonks lightly, but Remus recognised it as a subtle enquiry into the reason for his never mentioning a sister until tonight. Whether it was purely shyness on Tonks's part or an astute insight into how much he hated to talk about his family that stopped her asking directly, Remus did not care; either made him fall ever so slightly more in love with her.

Except that, of course, he was not in love with her. _Definitely not_.

'Well, we don't speak anymore,' he replied carefully.

'That's so sad, Remus. Why not?'

'She blames me for things that happened.' He stopped, but seeing her barely concealed curiosity, he added, 'Family things.'

'Your dad?'

'Mainly that, yes.'

'Gosh, I'm sorry.'

'It's okay.'

'Wow, it wasn't exactly happy families round ours then, was it?' said Tonks glumly.

Suddenly she reached across the table and grabbed his hand. 'Look!' she hissed, her gaze trained on something behind him. Remus turned and looked out of the window behind him, and a silvery mass hovering across the street from the café caught his eye. As his eyes adjusted to the dazzle, he could make out the shape as a horse.

'It's Kingsley's Patronus this time,' Tonks told him quietly.

'Come on,' Remus whispered.

Abandoning their half-finished coffees, they hurried to the door, Tonks pausing just long enough to toss one of those odd, crumpled pieces of paper that Muggles use as currency onto the table.

The air outside was now bitingly cold, and as they strode across the street they both hugged their clothes around them. Remus wished he had brought his cloak.

'Can muggles see Patronuses?' Tonks asked conversationally. 'Because if they can, why did no one in there seem to notice?'

Remus shrugged, too cold and too nervous at what the message may contain to wonder about that right now.

Kingsley's deep voice began as soon as they reached the silver horse.

'Macnair is on his way to Nott's house. Please be ready for his arrival and be prepared to follow them if necessary. Be cautious.'

Wordlessly, Tonks Disillusioned Remus and herself again, and they took up their position by Nott's gate. They did not have long to wait. Within minutes, a tall man with a thin black moustache Apparated in front of the house and hurried to the front door, glancing about warily. Remus tried to breathe quietly, but kept feeling like he was hyperventilating.

Macnair knocked on Nott's door and it was opened very quickly. Remus hoped they would not disappear inside: Nott was sure to have anti-Apparition charms protecting his house and therefore he and Tonks would not be able to overhear anything. Fortunately, the pair remained on the door step for a minute or two, talking inaudibly. Then they turned away from the house and passed very close to Remus, stopping on the pavement beside him.

'We'll take the information straight to the Dark Lord. He can decide whether he wants to use it tonight,' said Nott, and with a pop the two Death Eaters Disapparated.

Tonks reappeared immediately. 'Damn! I knew they were going to Apparate!'

Remus remained Disillusioned. He was convinced Nott and Macnair were going to the house Pettigrew and Avery had been in all those weeks ago.

'Tonks.' He grabbed her arm.

'Remus – what?' she said urgently, staring blindly in his direction with confusion.

'Disillusion yourself again and hold onto my arm. Tight,' he whispered.

She said nothing but gripped his upper arm fiercely and made herself invisible again. Remus closed his eyes and pictured that street he had followed Pettigrew along: the large house, the long sweeping driveway, the cherry trees that divided the wide road. A moment later, he stepped forward into oblivion. Beside him, Tonks gave a small yelp of surprise as they Apparated.

As the wide, deserted road appeared around them, Remus felt Tonks stagger slightly beside him.

'Okay?' he asked her quietly. He scanned the street and the house, but saw no one.

'Just caught me by surprise,' she gasped as she regained her balance. 'I didn't know you were going to Apparate us here … where exactly is "here"?'

'We're in the street I followed Avery to. You know, the house where I saw – er –'

'Peter Pettigrew?' Tonks supplied.

Remus nodded at her. 'I knew this was where they were talking about.'

'So where are they?'

'They must be inside all ready. Let's circle the house a couple of times and see if there's any sign of them.'

'How will we find each other again?' she asked.

'We'll meet by that tree with the gnarled branch.'

'Okay. Be careful.'

'You too.'

The set off to circle the house in opposite directions. Remus walked briskly around the building twice, sweeping his eyes over the grounds and peering into every window. Nothing could be seen but darkness. In fact, the inside of the house wasn't just dark. It was completely, unnaturally black. Remus would ponder what this meant later: right now he was anxious to get back to Tonks and see what she had found out.

He reached the tree and gingerly walked around it once, waiting to bump into her. Nothing. He called her name softly. Still no sign. He forced himself to stand still and wait, trying not to feel nervous. Nothing could have happened to her. There was no one around.

It was several minutes before Remus heard a very faint crunch of footsteps on the gravel driveway and then a disembodied voice whispering 'Remus?'

'Here,' he called back softly, moving towards where Tonks's voice had come from. He bumped into something soft and warm, and quickly took a step back from her.

'Sorry,' he said hoarsely, glad she could not see that he was blushing.

'That's okay,' she said. 'Anything?'

'No. You?'

'Not a thing.'

They sighed simultaneously.

'We should position ourselves in different parts of the garden and wait for them to come out,' Tonks decided. 'One of us should wait closer to the front door and one stay here.'

'All right,' Remus agreed. 'You stay here and I'll go to the door.' Though he couldn't see her, he could sense she was drawing herself up to her full height.

'And why is that, exactly?' she challenged him. 'I think I should be the one posted at the door.'

'It's safer here, Tonks, so you stay here and let me go,' he told her, and immediately kicked himself, knowing he was going to lose this argument.

'Listen, I'm the Auror here, so I'll be the one to go. And no, I don't want to hear any of your sexist arguments,' she said forcefully.

'Fine,' he relented, his nervousness making him unable to voice much more than that, but he was frustrated that he could not find it in himself to stand up to her.

'See you in a bit,' she said in a much gentler tone, and she brushed his arm lightly before soft footsteps told him she was walking away.

'Be careful,' he called quietly.

'You too,' came her barely audible reply.

And so Remus waited. The minutes ticked by like hours. He tried to stay still but his ever-growing nerves made him pace the small area in front of the tree, and every small noise made him jump.

He wished he could see Tonks. He even considered sending her a message with his Patronus to check she was all right, but knew it was ridiculous – she was barely a hundred yards away from him. But there was something about this house … he had visions of Tonks somehow being sucked inside, into the black void, never to return. It was the creepiest place Remus had ever been.

A rustling startled him, but after the initial fright and the instinctive reach for his wand, he relaxed. _Just a stray cat … or maybe an owl_.

Then the noise came again, louder. He tensed up, his wand now firmly in his grasp. _Someone's definitely there …_

_But where?_ He could see nothing. Then the unmistakable sound of footsteps reached him as though someone, or possibly more than one someone, for there seemed to be more than one set of footsteps, was walking up the driveway towards the house. The sound was close enough that Remus should have been able to see them, but the garden still appeared deserted. Whoever was there was obviously concealed somehow. They were clearly expecting spies.

Remus listened hard, trying to work out exactly where the people were, finding it much easier to remain motionless now. In fact, he hardly dared to breathe. The footsteps were coming closer … almost on top of him … and then past him. His heart was thudding after how close they had been to him, and he prayed they had not sensed his presence. The footsteps moved towards the front door, and now Remus could detect very faint voices that he did not recognise. He could not make out a word they were saying, and very soon the sound faded to nothing. It was then that his thoughts went to Tonks.

He wrestled with his impulse to go after them versus the knowledge that he had agreed to wait where he was. More of them could arrive, or they could change direction and return to the street. If Remus stayed where he was, he and Tonks would have them cornered if they tried anything, and could head them off from both ends of the garden.

_But Tonks might not know they're coming … what if they find her at the front door?_

No way. Tonks was a fully trained Auror: if anyone could deal with them, it was her.

_But she's a bit clumsy sometimes … what if she makes a mistake_?

Unable to restrain himself, he crept after the pair of invisible wizards. As he closed the distance between them, their voices grew clearer and he began to catch snatches of conversation.

'…damn Order … interfering ... knew they'd take the bait … bet they're hanging around the door waiting for us as well …'

Remus's heart leapt into his throat. They were heading straight for Tonks, and they suspected someone was there spying on them. What if she didn't hear them coming?

That settled it: he couldn't risk her getting hurt. Remus sped up and slipped past the pair as carefully as possible, an impressive feat since he couldn't see them.

'Did you feel something there?' one of them asked. 'I think someone just brushed past me.'

'Don't be daft,' the second said.

'I'm telling you, there's someone else here.'

Remus hurried away from them towards the front door where Tonks would be waiting. He heard their footsteps quicken behind him.

'I think I can see something moving ahead of us,' came the first Death Eater's voice.

_Oh no. Not again._ Remus mentally cursed Disillusionment Charms for being so useless, and wished for an invisibility cloak.

He reached the wide steps leading to the front door and gazed around for any sign of Tonks, but of course, there was none. As the Death Eaters' footsteps approached him again, he flattened himself against the wall and stayed still.

'See that?' came the first Death Eater's voice, extremely quiet. Remus could tell they were still a few feet away from the door. 'Someone's standing right there.'

Remus panicked. He had no idea if they had noticed Tonks or himself. He didn't know which was worse.

There was a crunching of gravel, and by the time Remus realised it was footsteps bearing down on him, it was too late to move. A hand came out of nowhere and clutched at his arm; he tried to fumble for his wand, but before he could manage to there was a serious of blinding flashes followed by several yelps. The Death Eater dropped his grip on his arm, and Remus ducked away, pulling out his wand but having no idea where to aim.

'Let's go!' breathed Tonks's voice in his ear out of nowhere.

He began to run towards the street, praying that the set of footsteps behind him was Tonks. He stopped abruptly once he had cleared the gate and Tonks gave a small cry as she slammed into his back. Without pausing to say anything, he grabbed her hand and Apparated them both away.

The moment they had safely landed in Grimmauld Place, Tonks made herself visible a few feet away from Remus and rounded on him angrily as he removed his own Disillusionment.

'What the hell were you playing at, Remus?' she cried, her expression incredulous. 'Why didn't you stay where you were supposed to be?'

A growing sense of remorse was forming in his chest. Had he not done the right thing? 'I thought you were in trouble, they were heading straight for you,' he replied quickly

'Yes, that was the idea,' Tonks said slowly, as though explaining it to someone a little slow. 'I wanted to listen to their conversation, maybe even get a glimpse inside the house. You could have ruined everything, what were you _thinking?_'

'I was just worried. I was trying to look out for you.'

'You don't have to look out for me! I'm trained to deal with this kind of thing, you know I am! I don't understand what possessed you do this – don't you understand how important tonight is?'

Remus filled with shame and was suddenly unable to look at her. He could feel her questioning eyes burning into him, demanding answers that he could never give. How could he tell her that when it came to her safety, all reason left him and his heart was in charge? He cursed himself internally. He really could have put the whole mission in jeopardy.

'Tonks, I … I'm, sorry, I wasn't thinking.'

She shook her head, muttering, 'Jesus …'


End file.
